August 7-8, 2013
A very uncomfortable night had ensued. Before Nate even got home from work, I was contracting and tried to keep track of the time between each one. Eventually, I went to bed. Every so often, up to about 10 minutes or so, I would awake to bad cramps, and laying on my side was not helping. I just couldn’t get comfortable, and the weight of the baby in my belly wasn’t helping, either. I tossed and turned all night and barely slept at all. I had an appointment with the perinatal associates in the morning for some fetal monitoring. I was having some rather strong cramps on occasion, and they could see them on the screen as I was experiencing them. I was just a week overdue, but one of the matter-of-fact technicians came in and practically demanded to know why I hadn’t been induced yet. I told her I’d done research on the topic, and that the risks outweighed the benefits at this moment in time, and that I’d talk to my midwife about it as we got closer to the two week overdue point. She made sure to tell me that she was surprised about this attitude (which is actually quite prevalent nowadays) and that the placenta was probably not functioning well anymore, etc., etc. Honestly, based on my knowledge, waiting a little over a week isn’t uncommon or all that dangerous. Why deal with the dangers of induction? Plus, since so many contractions were being recorded, some of which were pretty strong, what’s the rush? Obviously my body was working on it.
I spent much of the day at home, uncomfortable. That night, Nathan and I tried to watch “The Usual Suspects,” during which he’d record my contractions. We had to pause the movie so frequently, and I can’t say I really paid close attention, I was just so uncomfortable. The best way I can describe it is similar to intermittent intestinal cramping like you’d get from food poisoning. I’d have to moan through them, and I’m sure it was awful to watch. A call to the midwife assured us that it was too soon to worry about anything. The contractions would have to be regular and 5-10 minutes apart. I guess the occasional two minute intervals didn’t matter much in their mind. Plus, people were telling me that I would know when I had to go in. Would I? I had nothing to compare this to! We stopped the movie about 20 minutes from the end because I just couldn’t bear it anymore. I took a shower in an attempt to lessen the discomfort and maybe the frequency of contractions. It felt great while I was showering, but once out, things were still pretty bad. We tried to go to sleep, but I just couldn’t lay there. I sat on the computer a while and started to nod off. Sitting cross-legged in the computer chair was about the most comfort I could find, but without head support, each time I’d start to doze, I’d nearly fall over. I decided to move into the baby’s room where I could sit in the rocking chair. I wedged myself in, again cross-legged, and managed to fall asleep. I didn’t have a watch on, so I couldn’t really tell what my contraction intervals were, but it seemed to me like I was waking up every five minutes or so to extreme discomfort. I’d wake up just before the contraction would really hit, but my body knew it was coming. At some point, it was so uncomfortable, I’d have to stretch my legs out during each one, disturbing my rest even more, and on top of that, my legs would start shaking uncontrollably during the contractions, a reaction I would have intermittently throughout labor due to high adrenaline. I’m not sure how I managed to nod off for five minutes or so at a time, but I must have been exhausted. I decided that we should probably consider going to the hospital, especially since I felt a vague desire to push, which shouldn’t happen until late in labor, though as usual I thought this could always be attributed to digestive issues.
August 9, 2013
We drove down to Presbyterian Hospital and made our way up to triage. En route, there was one point where I did have to stop and wait out a contraction – a clue that labor was getting serious. They say you may not be able to walk or talk during the bad ones. I hadn’t really reached that point prior to this, but this one was particularly rough. I must have stood there for several minutes holding onto Nate before I could continue on. Once up at triage, they took my vitals and monitored the contractions. Eventually the midwife came in to assess me, and told us, to our shock, that we were at NINE centimeters dilation (out of ten!). We’d half expected to be told we were at three or four and that we weren’t nearly ready to be in. See, perinatal technician, way to jump the gun on that induction. Anyway, they told us (obviously) we weren’t going anywhere, and wheeled my cot down to a room in labor and delivery (which happened to be the same room we’d seen on our tour a few weeks prior).
It was a nice, private setting, though obviously still part of the hospital with the adjustable bed and all sorts of equipment everywhere. They were kind enough to keep the lights low and the atmosphere as comfortable as could be expected. I was attended to by the midwife, a nurse or tech, and Sarah, a doula that we’d hired through the hospital. Every single one of them couldn’t believe I was so far into labor because I was smiling and chatty and really didn’t come across as someone at that point. They’d asked me if I wanted drugs such as an epidural, and I said that ideally I would like to avoid it, but if it got really bad I may change my mind. Essentially, despite their offer, I was so far through the worst of the transitional (most uncomfortable) stage that it probably wouldn’t even be worth it. Just the fact that I was coping as well as I was at this point made the use of meds seem unlikely. In fact, I never used them, nor did I feel the need to during this process. I do wonder if I had gone in sooner if I’d have taken something, if for no other reason than to cope with the exhaustion moreso than the pain.
We’d arrived at triage sometime between 6 and 7 (our recollections are different in that regard). We were up in the room about 8. I spent much of the time talking to the staff, particularly our doula Sarah, who happened to be the one who signed us up when we decided to hire one. You never know which doula you’re going to get, but we were happy to have her. She was just so helpful and sweet and knowledgeable. I would recommend a doula to anyone, although I have to say that the midwife and tech were both very present and helpful, too. I had to spend the next few hours getting my cervix up to the full 10 centimeters. There was a little lip that just didn’t want to go away, so they gave me techniques like ways to sit during contractions and such that would fix the problem. I would engage everyone in conversation, only occasionally having to stop due to the discomfort. A chart on the wall had a pain scale of zero to ten with ten being the ultimate worst pain ever, and I completely expected to get to that point somewhere, but still, things weren’t unbearable and I trekked on.
Once we’d determined that we were close enough to 10 centimeters, they told me to push if I needed to. I think this final stage lasted about three hours or so. During this time, I’d gotten my second dosage of penicillin to combat a possible group b strep infection. My arm burned from that, but I was assured that was normal. The feel of the contractions during this stage were different. They would come on in a similar manner as the transitional ones, but weren’t quite as uncomfortable. They did make you want to push at times. I think part of the reason this stage lasted so long was because I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect from the birth, and I held back. It really did help to push when I did, though. The pain felt productive and subsided somewhat. I was glad to not have an epidural because I was able to move around the room and try various positions for pushing. As unpleasant as it sounds, the toilet was a great place and felt natural. It turns out a lot of women actually do have their baby in that position. Due to the length of time this was taking, they suggested three means to speed up delivery: nipple stimulation (which was a no for me), Pitocin (which I’d heard bad things about taking), and breaking the bag of waters. We did the latter, and it was so weird to feel myself draining like that. I guess it sped things up some, though I really didn’t notice much of a difference. Eventually, the midwife suggested I get back on the bed and push in the traditional manner, which is apparently with one person behind your head keeping your chin down, one person on each leg, pulling them back toward your torso, and one in the catcher’s position. It was so uncomfortable, and they kept yelling at me to stop trying to extend my legs, but it was easier said than done. I made a lot of headway with the pushing here, and we could get up to five good pushes per contraction. It wasn’t painful, but it was absolutely exhausting. I wanted to rest through a contraction or two, but due to the fact that I was hooked on a monitor, they could tell when I was having them, so there was no resting. One interesting thing that would happen only during some of my contractions was, when pushing, my body would go into auto push mode. It was a similar sensation to a gag reflex. I’d start to push, and though I was running low on energy and didn’t think I could keep up a push, my body would kick in and do a long gaglike push. That’s actually what would eventually allow me to push her out. Those were easily the best pushes, and I got the impression the midwife thought it was all me. I wish!! This part of labor was just so darned exhausting. Toward the end, they decided to give me a tiny bit of Pitocin, and, though I’d heard it makes contractions more painful, I suspect it helped me with the gag reflex pushes. At the end, I was making the most demonic sounds, trying to get her out of me. It wasn’t due to pain, it was due to strain. Eventually they told me that they could see her head, which blew my mind. In some ways, it felt like she had been that far ages ago, but that was good to know there was a light at the end of the tunnel. They asked if I wanted to touch her head, but I declined. I was a bit preoccupied, and I don’t think I would have enjoyed that. They kept saying “She’ll be out on your next push!” but it wasn’t the case. It almost felt like she was retreating back in, but they assured me each push was progress…two steps forward, one step back, if anything. After about five of those “next push” assurances, I was fed up and just wanted her out of me. I pushed with all my might, and with a sensation of stretching and resistance, out came her head. I pushed again for her shoulders, which was easier, and once more for her whole body. They pulled her out of me with that last one, and it was so weird to feel a whole other human come out of me. There was no pain, just a lot of slimy sliding and the feel of appendages. It wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I’d feared at all. They held her up, got her to cry, and gave her to me for some skin-to-skin belly time. She was beautiful!! Completely alert, not at all misshapen despite all her time in the birth canal, beautiful eyes, and all her fingers and toes and body parts accounted for. She arrived at 2:51pm and was 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and 20 inches long.
Shortly thereafter, once I was given a few minutes to rest and meet my sweet girl, I had to push out the placenta. I’d about had it with pushing, but luckily we were able to get it out on just a few tries. I wanted to see the organ that nourished my daughter, so they held it up and showed me. I asked Nate to take a picture, because I’m weird like that. He really didn’t want to, so the doula did it instead. It looks horrific on film, but it was so important these past nine months. Thanks to that, my dear Hyla was sustained in the womb.
I had about an hour to recover in this room before they’d tote me down to recovery. During this time, there was a lot of blood, especially because they would massage my uterus to get it to go down. They also determined I had a small tear and were going to repair it with a stitch or two. I asked if it was really bad enough, or if I could just let it heal on its own. They agreed that I could just let it heal, so that’s what I decided to do. Sarah was telling me she was amazed at how well I handled it all despite no pain meds, which surprised me because I’d have assumed that most people who hire a doula would do so with the intention of not using drugs. It heartened me to hear how well everyone thought this went. Childbirth was nowhere near as painful as I’d heard, and there was no reason to have handled it any differently.
I had some time to bond with Hyla, and I attempted to nurse her. The pain was shocking! Much worse than childbirth, to be honest. I felt awful not being able to feed her just yet, but I tried as best I could. Sarah brought me a nipple guard to use, too, but with the colostrum, it was too thick to really feed the baby. We would have some serious troubleshooting to do. Worried about the ability to nourish my child, we were wheeled up to recovery.
We spent much of the rest of the day getting to know our baby before she was toted away for tests and measurements. Once in recovery, it was a near constant flow of nurses and attendants coming in and out, and we found it really difficult to get much rest. We’d wind up staying two nights instead of one because of breastfeeding troubleshooting. I was lucky to talk to a very knowledgeable lactation consultant who thought my pain could be due to Raynaud’s Syndrome, which is a circulation issue. We came up with a plan of pumping as possible and supplementing the diet with formula (not ideal, but at least she wouldn’t starve before my milk really came in). It was such a relief to have an alternative measure for her.
Our two nights lasted a long time, although all the visitors helped. On the second day, Karla, Varissa, and Sumarin came by with a tequila cake and some lemonade to celebrate Hyla’s 0th birthday. It was really great, and we loved showing off our newest addition. The only bad part was that Nathan had a huge migraine and was actually sick most of this time. He was a real trouper, though, and after getting a few hours of good sleep, he was his old self again. As for me, I was recovering really well and didn’t really feel like I had just gone through all I had. It was great, and I’m so thankful that my body recovered so easily. Now we’re home, learning from each other and getting to know our wonderful baby girl. We couldn’t ask for a more agreeable baby – so patient with our inexperience. She hardly ever cries, and when she does, we usually have a pretty good idea of what she wants. And if we don’t, it only takes a few soothing words to calm her down. She’s bright eyed, healthy, strong, and cute as can be. I never cared much for babies, but she has stolen my heart unlike any other. I look so forward to our lives together!
