"Game"

New Mexico really has become a hot spot for Hollywood film crews. Nate's aunt was an extra in "3:10 to Yuma," "Wild Hogs" was filmed solely in NM, "Brothers" is currently being filmed in Los Alamos, and, unbeknownst to me as I walked amongst the film crews about an hour ago, "Game" is being filmed right here at UNM! Had I known, I would have dressed nicer - maybe I could have been an extra! I guess if real estate doesn't work out, I could always focus on extra-ing! Do I see a new career budding??

Yes Woman??

These last few days have been something of a roller coaster - mostly the first drop and very little airtime. In sad news, I found out that my boss's boss, whom I've never officially met and only knew vaguely, died on Tuesday from brain cancer. I guess we all knew it was coming, but it's still always a shock. He was a highly decorated man, recieving honors from all sorts of biology-related organizations. He was well known in the field, and his contributions have greatly impacted society.

I found out about this Tuesday night while having dinner with Scott, Sarah, Jim, and Nate. Scott assumed I'd heard about it, but it was news to me. Other than that, dinner was really nice - we ate at Yanni's, a fancy Greek place. Conversation flowed as we talked about Sarah and Jim's trip to Mexico and our friend Roberta's upcoming return from Alaska. The drive home was a bit distressing, though, as Nate and I talked about our usual dynamic in social situations (not including this evening, however). I'm already a wreck in most social situations, though I am better with my close friends. I've found a "comfortable" way of dealing with it, though, and tend to hide my shyness by being very friendly and apparently agreeing with everything that people say to the point of going overboard. Now, I guess this is something I never noticed, and that I must have picked up from watching late night talk show hosts or something. I like to ask questions and let the other person talk, responding with head nods and apparently eager agreement. Hearing this threw a wrench into my whole "easy" socializing demeanor. It's something I have to watch out for, and if I find myself doing it, I need to figure out how to get around it without clamming up or saying something that could potentially have me beating myself up all night for sounding "stupid" or "offensive." UGH!! Maybe I just shouldn't socialize at all anymore! This is who I've trained myself to be, and it's a rut I don't know how to get out of. It's spawned from me caring too much about what people think of me, and now I worry that people will think I'm a "yes woman." In fact, this isn't the first time I've been told that! Aurgh, maybe I just shouldn't care what people think, either way and just go with the flow...I wonder how star socializers (which I thought I had the illusion of being at times) work their stuff. Maybe I should just give up and be myself...but that's weird, too, because I'm vastly different with different people. I don't know WHO I am anymore. UGH! So that is the dilemma of the day.

So that evening we watched some indie film about a guy eating dinner with some friends (how apropo) and we drank half a bottle of wine. I hadn't yet felt buzzed, so I cracked open some Goldschlagger and drank quite a bit before I felt anything...and then WOW. I passed out, nauseous, and woke up with my first hangover ever (well, that wasn't falsely induced by non-alcoholic champagne)! I wound up taking the day off and sleeping, which was much needed. I'm back today, though, alone in the office again...I better force myself to do some work or it won't happen...

So...Weary...

It has been one heck of a tiresome couple of days. I had to work 13 hours on Sunday, and that about killed me! It really wasn't THAT bad, but it was exhausting. I, along with Gabor, Megan, Bob, and Cheryl, drove a number of EID conference attendees out to see the Valles Caldera National Preserve. I LOVE the Caldera. It's probably my favorite location in the state. But I really needed a weekend, and working on Sunday didn't help. Still, I was lucky enough to have the nicest people in my car: a math professor and his biology student from the University of Idaho (U of I??) and a masters student from Ft. Collins, CO where Jeanine works! Driving stresses me out, so that's probably why I was so exhausted, but being back on the Caldera was worth it. We stopped at some beautiful locations, listening to Bob's informative explanations. It wasn't without adventure, either. We came across a downed tree, and 15 of us helped move it as Bob chainsawed. We also had to contend with some slippery, muddy and icy roads on some precarious mountainsides! Sadly, we didn't see much in the way of wildlife initially, but at the end of our day, we spied a herd of about 100 elk, so we drove over to show them off.

The first time I'd seen the Caldera, Nate drove me past on our way up to Los Alamos. I was pretty nervous, seeing as how it's a gigantic, 14 mile wide volcanic crater that could potentially explode at any time. I was so nervous the first time we went to trap there, too. But the place has grown on me so much that, while down in the crater letting the visitors explore, I just stood out in the grass, contemplating the humongous volcano below, and actually felt so at peace that I wouldn't have minded if the darned thing exploded right there. I was one with the earth, and that would have just made me a permanent fixture to this wonderful place.

So you can see I love the place...so wasn't it exciting when Bob (my current boss, through Dec.) offered me another job, based at the Caldera, starting in May and going through November. He said I'm at the top of his list, so that was really great to hear...we'll have to see, though. I'd have to live there 4 days a week, and I don't know how it's going to mesh with my real estate, much less a book, should I write one. Plus, the 10 hour days sound killer, but apparently I'd get to learn all the plants of the region, and I'd be doing radio telemetry on turkeys and coyotes, so that's awesome! It's definitely something to consider...

Other than that, I've been "working" at the EID (Ecology of Infectious Diseases) conference this week...it had to be the easiest conference to "work." It was so laid back that no one really needed any instruction, and the hotel took care of most of the details. Unfortunately, I was too exhausted to get much out of the presentations, but it was still interesting. It's nice to finally get invited to a conference or two...not that I'd have ever known from GRAD SCHOOL. *grumble, mumble*

Anyway, in sad news, my last rat Flash passed away today...he was so heartbroken after the loss of Geronimo that I think he lost the will to live. I'm just glad he's not suffering anymore. The house just won't be the same without a rat. :(

So that's life 'til now...I have lots of emailing to do and errands to run, but I think I'm just going to pass out!! G'night, all!