4th Anniversary Trip to Texas: May 2011

Wed. May 11th

Well, it’s been several months since our trip, so let’s see how much of it I can remember! I flew into San Antonio from Chicago and arrived minutes before Nate. I had flown in on American, seated next to a British transplant currently living in Bloomington, IL of all places. Nate flew on Southwest, and we arrived in separate terminals. Luckily there were only two terminals in the San Antonio Airport, so he hastened over to find me and we took a shuttle to the car rental facility. It was already well after 10, so as soon as we got our car, we drove to our hotel, excitedly discussing the plans for the week. We’d wanted to do a trip to San Antonio and environs for some time, and there was so much to see! On the way to the hotel, we glimpsed a spectacle of a restaurant: The Magic Time Machine. We weren’t sure what it was, but it caught our eye enough to make us look into it…we even got a brochure for the place at the motel, but it really didn’t do much to help us understand just what the place was about. Still, we were to remain intrigued. Anyway, it turned out that the motel we reserved was the same one I’d stayed at with a high school friend back in 2001, situated classily between x-rated shops and strip clubs. Keep it classy, San Antonio! Regardless, it was a decent place to get some sleep.

Thurs. May 12th

Our anniversary!! And what better way to celebrate than road tripping, the thing we do best? We had a busy day ahead of us, so we got an early start and hit I-35, heading north toward Waco. On the way, we encountered an extremely threatening thunderstorm. We attempted to listen to the radio to try to avoid any tornadoes or other dangers, but of course no warnings came through. We stopped for gas, and when I ran in to get some candy, the TV’s were warning about tornadoes in the area. I couldn’t really tell if we were in the line of trouble, but I could see that Waco seemed to be in the clear, so we pressed on, hoping for the best.

We made it to Waco that morning, after battling waves of storm alternating with calm hurricanic eyes. Our arrival found us within another calm eye, but we could see the clouds roiling on the horizon. The wind was picking up and got very nasty, as well. We grabbed our things and ran from the car to our first stop: the Dr. Pepper Museum.

Now let me just say, I can’t stand Dr. P. I think it’s the vilest concoction known to man, but Nate loves the stuff, and far be it from me to miss seeing a themed museum. This particular museum just happened to be in the exact location that the drink was created. We perused multiple floors of history and kitsch, and despite it all, I still had absolutely no desire for the stuff. Once we finished our tour, we wound up downstairs at the old fashioned soda fountain where Nate could quench his cravings with a fountain-drawn Dr. P. I had a scoop of ice cream, as none of the other sodas on tap were at all appealing, particularly Big Red, which I imagine tastes much like cough medicine. Gag. I was hoping the soda fountain would be more akin to the one found at World of Coke in Atlanta. That place is incredible, offering up drinks (probably at least 50) from all over the world, and they’re all free to sample. Sure, you leave feeling sick, but I can argue I left feeling sick merely from being in the presence of so much Dr. P. Still, I had a good time, and I know Nate did, too. Now he’s intrigued to try hot Dr. Pepper, which apparently is a thing. Who knew?

By the time we’d finished touring the museum, the storms had blown by and the weather was perfect for tooling around town. Since we were in Waco, I really wanted to see the one thing that I think of when I hear Waco, TX: the Branch Davidian Compound. I’d found directions online, so we went in search of this newsworthy location. Driving through central TX, I found it to be much more lush and pleasant than I’d expected. For some reason, I’d envisioned Waco and its surroundings to be bleak and barren, but it was actually relatively rich farmland. After several twists and turns, we found the compound which is still run by “The Branch,” and has the sign to prove it. From what I understand, the current sect was at odds with the teachings of the Davidians, so I guess the former’s beliefs aren’t entirely practiced there. The land wasn’t anything special. I was hoping for some sort of commemorative plaque or memorial of some sort (which I understand existed back in the 90’s). It looked like they were trying to remain low key, though. We drove by a second time so I could snap some pictures, but we hurried off when one of the members who was walking across a field looked suspiciously at us. While it wasn’t much, it was interesting to see such an infamous locale, and the one that defined Waco in the news.

Once we’d had our fill of history, we headed back toward inner Waco, tooling around town a bit. We admired Baylor University’s campus from afar. We also were desperately hungry for lunch, but I swear there isn't a single place to eat in town! Even downtown! We resorted to eating at a nearly impossible to find restaurant inside a gift shop complex, which was alright. We were just happy to find something to eat! Then we got serious and started geocaching. I think we found every cache we sought, which is always satisfying. We also got up close and personal with some fantastic and old live oak trees. What character! Truly splendid! After caching, we checked out the zoo, but we decided not to go in because it seemed pretty expensive for what we imagined it was, and we only had an hour before it closed, so we headed out.

Now we were faced with a decision: originally we were going to haul butt out to Houston to get a ride on the new (to us) wooden coaster at Kemah Boardwalk, but based on the bad weather and the distance, not to mention the fact that there were a few more things in the area that would have been just as good to stick around and see, we decided on plan B – head back down and see the sights of Austin.

Now, I’d visited Austin (and San Antonio) back in 2001, and I remember absolutely not understanding why so many people love Austin so much. It was crowded, dirty, loud, and didn’t have much to offer unless you like night life, which I can do without. I’m always ready to offer a second chance, and went with an open mind, hoping to change my opinion.

When we got to town, we headed toward the capitol building. There were homeless people everywhere, but I was heartened to see a van going around feeding people. We stopped at a park and walked down to the river, which proved to be an oasis of wildlife in the midst of the urban sprawl. I even spotted a gorgeous yellow crowned night heron, though I had no idea what it was at the time. After exploring the river a bit, we surfaced to street level and headed over to the capitol building.

Situated amongst more of the most impressive live oaks, the stately building stood much as it did the last time I’d visited. We went through security and wandered the halls, looking down every corridor. Eventually we happened upon a session of the house, on which we decided to sit for a while. It was amazing how little got done in the time we were there: mostly it was congressmen milling about chinning with each other, if they weren’t just blatantly lounging in their chairs with their feet up on their desks. I also heard people making animal noises…I heard a rooster and a cat, specifically. It’s nice to know that our government officials are taking their jobs seriously. After about 20 minutes, we tired of it all and left.

From there, Nathan and I pressed on in search of one of the 3 brew pubs in town. In a city like Austin, known for its night life and party atmosphere, you’d think a brew pub would do well. Unfortunately, the first one we located was now some sort of banquet or rental venue. The second one we located appeared to have promise, but it had apparently recently converted into a mere bar that no longer brews. We decided to get a drink and assess the situation. We sat in the rooftop beer garden and gazed out at the scene around us. It was a madhouse below, dirty, crowded, and loud. There were a few restaurants that looked interesting – a seafood place in particular, but Nathan really wanted to try the sausage house across the street from the bar, which is kind of funny, coming from a man who doesn’t usually like meat. So we headed over (giving up on finding the last brew pub…I think there was a third).

Well, it was actually a decent restaurant, such as it was. I had the combination elk/antelope/wild boar (I think) sausage, and Nate had something with sauerkraut. We drank water out of jars and admired the giant Frankenmuth doxie that adorned the wall (since Nate loves doxies, and I used to visit Frankenmuth, MI quite often as a child). Dusk was just rolling in when we finished. I really wanted to get back to the car before dark because of all the unsavory characters milling around. Austin does not send out a feeling of welcome or safety. We hastened back and made it safely to our parking garage just as nightfall took over. There was still one more place we wanted to try: Austin’s resident tiki bar (at least the one that wasn’t rated completely awfully).

Driving out to the more bearable (read: less downtowny) part of Austin, we found ourselves at a gift shop/resort type area that was surrounded by trees. There, amongst it all, was the Hula Hut! Even more exciting, it appeared this place was actually situated on a pier! It overlooked a very large lake that turned out to be Lake Austin. We got a table outside on the pier, with the lovely night breeze caressing the water as it lapped at the stilts below us. The waitress seemed surprised that we were only there for drinks, but after all the food from the sausage place, I can’t imagine how we could have eaten another bite!

We sat outside, enjoying the atmosphere and sipping our fancy island drinks. They had a decent selection of at least 15 drinks. They weren’t Hala Kahiki quality, but they were still good, and the setting more than made up for it. It was a wonderful end to an exciting day. After Hula Hut, we headed further south. I made reservations at a Motel 6 in New Braunfels for the next two nights, as that would be the most convenient place for us. It turned out to be one of the nicer, upgraded ones in which you enter your room from a hallway, not from the outside. Plus, it had internet! And it was clean! What luck! We made a good choice.

Fri. May 13th

Friday was a jumble of a day, and I’ll do my best to recall what we did and when. We got a relatively early start (for us) and headed down to Texas Tubes, one of the river tubing outfitters on the Comal River. Back in 2001, I’d remembered seeing tubers floating down the river from Schlitterbahn and really wanting to give it a try. For years, Nate and I had discussed coming to New Braunfels so he could finally experience Schlitterbahn, and so we both could tube down the river. Now, the last time I was there, I asked one of the ride operators where people picked up tubes, and she claimed most people floated between two state parks, but it turned out going through an outfitter would be more convenient for us.

Once at Texas Tubes, we rented our tubes and headed down to the river. If we’d had a cooler, we could have gotten a tube for that as well (nothing like tubing and beer, as was evidenced by a few other tubers around us), but we opted for just us. Luckily, it was a pretty hot morning, so the cool river was more of a relief than a shock. We awkwardly flung ourselves into our tubes and slowly drifted down the river. And by slowly, I mean that we hardly moved. We seriously had to paddle ourselves to get very far. Once we found a bit of a current, we just floated, side-by-side, amongst the low hanging trees, behind resort properties, and past city parks that hosted fishermen. We mostly wanted to get a good distance ahead of the other couple that entered the river almost at the same time as us.

Once we made it to the first park, a family of 5 joined us. We got a good laugh because they were the typical Texas rednecks you think of. The dad was so vulgar, I was almost embarrassed for him, but I dunno why, as he wasn’t at all embarrassed for himself. Haha! Anyway, shortly after they joined the current, we came upon a fork in the river. Which way to go? Luckily we were nudged in the right direction…right toward the waterfall?!!!! There were signs all around saying “Weak swimmers exit now!” and “Keep right!!!” So we paddled like mad toward the right, not having any idea what to expect. I did get out and walk down the river briefly to see what the big deal was and discovered that, unless you wanted to portage your tube downstream a bit, your other option was a wickedly awesome tube chute! So I hopped back in and down the chute we went!! It was like a mini waterslide right there in the river! What fun! We were spat out at the bottom of the waterfall, amid roiling rapids. I was stuck in a loop of water for a little while, but once I was able to break free, I rejoined Nate, who didn’t get caught in the loop, and we continued on down the river at a pleasant pace.

As we continued, we paid more attention to the river itself. The Comal claims to be the shortest navigable river in the state of Texas, existing entirely within the city limits of New Braunfels. A tributary to the Guadalupe River, much of it seems to be manipulated by man with a cement riverbed (in sections) and two more tube chutes along the way. Despite this, we did come across some large turtles, one of which was basking within a foot of my tube and didn’t even flinch as I floated past. One of the kids from the family floating near us seemed to be a herpetology enthusiast, and I chuckled as I heard him yammer excitedly about the turtles and other sorts of reptiles and amphibians he’s encountered. We also saw a few yellow crowned night herons, which appeared to be quite common in central Texas, but are still very stunning, nonetheless. On top of that, a number of damselflies took it upon themselves to hitch a ride on our knees as we moseyed along the river. It was quite peaceful and serene.

One of the highlights of the trip was also one of the most anticipated: floating right past the newest section of Schlitterbahn Waterpark. It was neat to be the ones being watched from the park, as opposed to vice-versa. I pointed out a number of my old favorites like the Master Blaster: the world’s first uphill waterslide. We also admired the new additions like the sky coaster. It all just whetted our appetite for tomorrow’s adventures at the park.

After a little over an hour, we made it to the final landing, just as a number of loud twenty-somethings with boom boxes on their tubes entered the river. We exited the river and climbed a huge number of steps to reach street-level, where we caught our bus back to the outfitters. What a great way to start the morning!
On our way back through New Braunfels, we decided to try to grab lunch at the brew pub located within the Faust Hotel. Sadly, they wouldn’t be open for several more hours, so to kill time, we decided to head down to Natural Bridge Caverns, a tourist trap of sorts. We got our tickets and walked around the visitor center for a bit waiting for our tour time. Finally our group was called and we congregated outside to hear the instructions from our guide. Then we headed down, under the natural bridge, into the mouth of the cave. As a cave goes, it really wasn’t anything outstanding. It had all the famous features like cave bacon and stalactites and mites. There was a section full of centuries of bat guano that was quite impressive. Once we emerged, Nate and I headed over to see the large dinosaur statues. We were even able to climb up to the back of one to take a picture.

After the cave experience, we headed back to the Faust Hotel and had a late lunch. We tried their beers which were bad, in Nate’s opinion. The food was ok, though. We were glad to check another brew pub off our list, regardless.

From New Braunfels, we decided to head toward San Antonio for a bit. One of the quirky things I wanted to do was see the town of China Grove, the namesake of the song by the Doobie Brothers. I wanted to see if it was all that the song made it out to be. So after some crazy driving through rush hour, and struggling on both our parts to stay awake, we finally found the exit we needed which didn’t even make mention of the town. We drove several miles until we saw the population sign, and we decided to stop at the Dairy Queen, which appeared to be the only business of any note. We got some ice cream, and I asked the girl at the counter if she knew of anything commemorating the song within the town. She just looked at me blankly like she had no idea what I was talking about. Then I asked if there was a main street, or maybe a post office she could direct us to (I mean, this is a teeny tiny town – I’m sure the post office is probably the biggest landmark you could find). Again, a blank stare. I thought about asking her manager, who seemed on the ball, but thought better of it. After eating our ice cream, we proceeded on toward the village hall, thanks to our Garmin. We drove down a rural highway with sparse houses and farms. Once at the hall, we took pictures with Nate making fun of me for being such a music nerd. Then we drove back toward San Antonio, slightly bummed that there was no musical pride, nor parallel other than name between the town and the song.

Our drive to the city was mostly uneventful, save for a turtle crossing the highway. Once we made it to San Antonio, our destination was the Riverwalk. Last time I’d been here, I remember absolutely loving it, and finding it one of the most unique attractions anywhere. I was so excited to spend time along its banks with Nathan, taking in its romantic charm. We parked at the mall’s parking structure and headed through the shopping area and out onto the riverside. We walked around, watching the tour boats and looking at all the shops and restaurants. Our main objective, however, was to do some geocaching in the area. We made our way past the main touristy area with shops and such, and out into the more parklike district with the large dam and plenty of trees and serenity. Our first cache was a success, though we had to wait around trying not to look suspicious as a duo in front of us also made the find. From then on out, none of the caches were found, but we still had a great time taking in the sights of the riverfront.

It was starting to get dark, and we had to decide on dinner. Then it occurred to us: we would be passing that strange restaurant, the Magic Time Machine (which we jokingly referred to as the Magical Mystery Tour, having forgotten the name) on our way back to New Braunfels. Why not see what exactly it was all about? So that’s exactly where we set out.

The parking lot of the Magic Time Machine was nondescript with nothing to really indicate what this place would be like. Once we entered, though, it was loud both audibly and visually. We were greeted by the hostess and some wait staff, more accurately referred to as the cast. Acknowledging us amongst statues of the Simpsons and Captain Morgan, we had the likes of Tinkerbell, Velma from Scooby Doo, and Barbie. We were brought to our table, situated right across from the Salad Car – a salad bar in a car. Our booth was akin to a tacky throne, and we sat across from an amusing family of 6: mom, 4 kids, and a step dad to whom the kids did everything to make him aware he wasn’t REALLY family. Whenever a waiter would ask about their dad, they’d chime in, “He’s just our step dad.” It must have been really awkward for him.

So anyway, this place was a madhouse. I guess one pastime the kids in this place (and it is essentially a kid’s place, with alcohol to help the parents get through it) is getting a balloon and trying to have all the characters sign it. So basically there were children running everywhere, underfoot at every turn. It was loud, there was much screaming, and I really don’t know why anyone would want to work here, nor how they could without getting totally frazzled. Despite it all, Nate and I had a really great time and found it extremely amusing. Our primary waiter was Indiana Jones himself, with the help of the Cheshire Cat. I ordered a decent prime rib and an “ugly” colored bubbling drink, which was pretty good despite being pea green. We watched the kids at the table next to us accost the Riddler, Captain Jack Sparrow, Zorro, and various other characters. At one point, the whole cast got together to sing happy birthday to someone. It was like an acid trip on crack, I would imagine. Kind of like Eddie being dropped into Toon Town…that’s actually pretty accurate. Well, we were immensely amused by the place, though I don’t know that we would recommend it to most adults our age. It’s definitely a unique experience, though!

Once we had finished our meal, it was getting pretty late, so we headed back to New Braunfels so we could be fresh for the big day ahead of us tomorrow.

Sat. May 14th

Ahh, this was the day to which we were looking most forward…Schlitterbahn! Back when I first visited, this park was the largest waterpark in the world. I’d still say it technically should lay claim to that because it definitely packs way more into its acreage than Noah’s Ark in Wisconsin Dells, the current holder of that record. On top of that, Schlitterbahn is so huge that it’s actually broken into two parts between which you need to take a shuttle. Show me a shuttle, Noah’s Ark, and then we’ll talk.

Schlitterbahn is also what I would call the Cedar Point of waterparks, in that they are innovators of new types of rides, and lots of them. They were the first park to introduce an uphill waterslide, and to install special effects on slides, too. They have a number of lazy rivers, some of which are super fast and far from lazy. One of the neatest innovations is the river-slide. They have lazy rivers of sorts that incorporate a number of slide chutes as you move downhill. And most of the water used in the park comes straight from the Comal River. In fact, the largest river-slide they have actually dumps you right in the river!

Once we arrived at the park, our first task was to find tubes, which was easier said than done. They really do a nice job of hiding the stash! Once we found our tubes, we rode a few normal slides, some speed slides, did some lazy rivers, and explored most of old Schlitterbahn, the original half of the park (whose mascot is incidentally Schatze, a daschund, much to Nate’s appreciation). It was great to look at the river this time and be able to see! Last time I was there, my friend kept talking about turtles in the river, and being legally blind, I missed them. It had been such a pain navigating without my glasses, or struggling with them when I did have them. Some of the rides had multiple exits, so if I’d lost track of my friend, I’d never find her again and found myself wandering around asking anyone in a black bathing suit, “Are you my friend?” Haha, well, not really, but almost. Now I could fully enjoy the park, and it made a huge difference. Another thing I’d learned from last time is you NEED water shoes. Half the park is black top, and getting around barefoot is nothing less than torture. Needless to say, this was a much better experience.

Once we’d seen most of old Schlitterbahn, we decided to catch the shuttle over to the new section: home of Blastenhoff and Surfenburg. We opted against doing the surf machine because the lines were too long (and I really didn’t fancy the world watching me wipe out) and instead opted for what looked like a tame, short slide into a lazy river. That turned out to be one of the wildest rides we experienced, and I nearly inhaled a lungful of water upon impact with the river. From that point, the water in the river was going at a ridiculous clip, and it was awesome! We circled around that lazy river a number of times, just to experience the intensity of the speed.

Next, we went to try out the special effect-ridden Dragon’s Revenge: a water coaster with 8 uphill sections! The best part was that it was actually dedicated to my old organization: American Coaster Enthusiasts! How funny! From there, we motored over to Blastenhoff where we rode the three largest slides: the original Master Blaster, and its two smaller companions: the Wolfpack and Black Knight. We also stood under the torrents of water that rushed down: the only thing that could keep you cool after standing in line for more than an hour apiece. This was also the place that I’d lost my bathing suit to the horror of all the little children watching, the last time I was there. I made sure to wear a super snug suit this time…that’s not something you want to relive!

Once we’d had our fill of thrills (and ridiculously long lines), we headed back to Schlitterbahn West, the original part of the park, we hit the few rides we’d missed and re-rode a few of our favorites. Then, about an hour before closing, we decided we’d had our fill and headed off before the mass exodus.

We found our car and drove back to San Antonio. Nathan made a reservation at the Valencia Hotel, right along the Riverwalk. It was a really posh hotel, and our room had a view of the river (if you looked out at just the right angle). It was a challenge to find, but once we did, I ran out to see where the nearest parking was. Many of these hotels have their own parking garage, but sadly ours didn’t, though they offered valet service for an exorbitant fee. We wound up parking at the lot a few blocks away and lugging our stuff, but it wasn’t bad at all. We checked into our room and de-waterparked ourselves, getting ready for a night on the town. We decided to celebrate our anniversary at a nice restaurant this night, as we really didn’t have a chance two nights prior. Once we were presentable, we headed down to the Riverwalk.

I, of course, have such a hard time walking in heels that I just shouldn’t wear them, especially on a cobblestone walkway with a body of water at my side, but I somehow managed to make my way, slowly but surely. We were vigilant for a nice restaurant as we walked along, and eventually we came across the Ostra which looked unique and fancy, and had outdoor seating that was far enough away from the walkway that we wouldn’t risk having passers-by grab food as they passed, yet still afforded great views of the river. We had about an hour before our reservation, so we headed over to a bar at street level, still overlooking the water, and had a drink. Then we headed back to Ostra for a lovely dinner. Nathan had the lobster omelet, which I also had considered and probably should have also gotten. It was beyond fabulous. I would highly recommend it. I had seafood stew which had a little bit of everything. It, too, was fantastic, but I still say the omelet was even better. Between the romantic atmosphere and the terrific food and the splendid company, this was a wonderful belated anniversary dinner. I couldn’t be happier.

Nathan wanted to walk along the river more that evening, and as much as I wanted to, I really needed to get out of those heels. We attempted to get a drink back at our hotel, but there was absolutely no seating left anywhere, so we just called it a night. It had been another splendidly busy day!

Sun. May 15th

Again we arose early and hit the road – we needed to be out of the parking garage by 11 to avoid being charged ridiculously. Our main destination was Six Flags Fiesta Texas, unique because it’s situated in an old quarry. This was really intriguing to Nate, but I don’t think he was as impressed by it as he’d hoped. The quarry is cool, but it only skirts a couple rides, so most of the park doesn’t really feel that quarryish. I’d been to this park before, and while it’s ok, it’s not my favorite. Most Six Flags parks tend to feel the same after a while.

Luckily I had recently bought my first Six Flags season pass in years at Great America, so not only was I able to get in for free, I also had a coupon to get Nate in for half price! While waiting in line to get in, we were approached by an employee who wanted to do a survey, and I’m always happy to oblige, park fan that I am. He was impressed by all the parks we’d visited and had a wealth of his own questions about them. He asked what our favorite Six Flags were, and I think he was rather bummed that I didn’t say Fiesta Texas. Oh well!

Once we entered the park, we made a mad dash for Goliath, the new (to me) inverted roller coaster. Luckily it was just inside the gate, and we nearly walked on. I’m not sure how the height compares, but the elements were identical to the original Batman, and in exactly the same order. This is interesting because Great White at Sea World San Antonio is a perfect clone of the original Batman. Oh well, I’m probably the only person who notices these things! It’s still a solid, fun ride, and another credit in my book! Woo hoo!

From Goliath, we ran over to the resident Boomerang. I’m not a big fan of Boomerangs, and I almost sat this one out, but then I figured it’d be a waste not to ride it, so I joined Nate in line. Boomerangs are built by Vekoma, a manufacturer notorious for making painful rides, but if you pay attention, you can find a seat that is less unpleasant. As a rule, the front seat of any car isn’t too bad, and just our luck, there was a seat available! So Nate and I ran over and grabbed it for our second walk-on of the day. We sat there as the lift chain pulled us backwards, up, higher and higher, until the mechanism released us and sent us careening through the cobra roll, and then through a vertical loop before being pulled up the second incline and being released to experience it all again backwards. To my joy, the ride was actually bearable and even, might I say, enjoyable!

We pulled back into the station and they buzzed the harnesses to release us. Everyone around us exited, and we were still struggling with our harnesses. They kept buzzing us, and eventually the ride ops came over to try to get us out. It was all for naught. They told us they’d send us through again, and hopefully whatever was wrong would work itself out on the next ride. So off we went again, looping and swirling. Upon our return, the same thing happened. Despite this, they opted to send us through yet again, heads swimming through the inversions. Upon this third ride, Nate and I both had about had it. I was starting to feel the panic of claustrophobia setting in as the harness sat snugly against me. I was having visions of having to spend the rest of the day, or longer, stuck inside these restraints. It was getting hard to breathe. Panic. Panic!! And Nate certainly didn’t want to be tossed through the ride again. Luckily this time they shut the ride down and called maintenance. They were there within 10 minutes and had to open the backs of our seats to release us. Fortunately, when the harnesses fail on these rides, they tend to fail in a closed mode, rather than tossing a rider (which could have happened had they not planned for such – thank you, engineers!). In a few more minutes, we were free, and everyone who remained in the station cheered and applauded. I felt like it was for us, even though it was probably for the fact that they could ride the damn thing, finally…crazy people. Hehe.

From then on, we made our way around the park, hitting the excellent mine train: the Road Runner Express, and the enormous wooden Rattler which was much less painful than I remembered from last time. It actually went through a hole in the wall of the quarry, and its intensity made it seem like it could fall apart at any moment. It was quite fun, but definitely a one-time ride due to the long lines.
We also did the water raft ride on which we got soaked, and the train which also went through a tunnel in the quarry. Then we did Superman Krypton Coaster, a solid floorless coaster that skirted the edge of the quarry. We worked our way over to Pandemonium, the spinning coaster that was also new to me. We did the Ferris wheel, a good Scooby Doo themed dark ride that involved shooting targets, the flume, the old fashioned cars, and Poltergeist – a launched roller coaster that looks like an incomprehensible bowl of spaghetti. Nate also noticed that there were kiddy teacups that were themed around beer. Teach ‘em young, Texas! Too funny.

With the long lines and very few inspiring rides, we took off once we’d had our fill of everything. On our way out, I’d remembered that we passed a brew pub right at the entrance to the park, so we headed over to check that out. BJ’s Brewhouse is apparently a chain out of California, but it was new to us, and it appeared they brewed their beer on-site. So we had dinner and sampled all their brews. It was all pretty good, and I’m glad we stopped. Then we headed back up to the Motel 6 we stayed at the first night, reserved a room, and Nate took a long nap due to a migraine. I think we actually just called it an early night. It had been a crazy amount of adventuring, considering we hadn’t done a big trip in a long while, and it was finally starting to take its toll.

Mon. May 16th

This was our last day in lovely San Antonio, and we still had a lot we wanted to do. Luckily, Nate was feeling considerably better, so we headed back out to the Riverwalk. We made a mad dash to the ticket booth for boat tours. We only had a smidgeon of time before we had to be back at the airport, so we were really lucky to catch the boat that was sitting there before it took off. The half hour tour was absolutely worth the $8. We floated along the canals, and our guide pointed out things we never would have noticed merely walking along, from architectural tidbits, to historical ones. We even floated right past the hotel at which Carol Burnett was born! It was fascinating, and extremely informative, not to mention brilliantly relaxing. I would highly recommend making a point to ride the boats while in San Antonio.

After the cruise, we had a bit more time to spare, so we headed up to street level to check out the Alamo, since that’s basically the thing you HAVE to do when you visit San Antonio. Now, both Nate and I had been here before, but we still thought we should check it out. Last time I was here, my friend had been told to ask to see the basement of the Alamo. I was sure that was a joke of some sort, and I told her so, but she still asked our guide about it and nearly got laughed out of the place. Then I saw “PeeWee’s Big Adventure.” Yeah, there’s not basement to the Alamo…no bike, either! Hehe. Anyway, Nate and I did a whirlwind foot tour of the place, got a quick bite to eat at the food court on the Riverwalk, and then retreated back to the car. I noted how safe I felt in San Antonio. It was probably the most comfortable American city I’ve had the pleasure of exploring. I guess it’s also touted as one of the safest cities in America. You can really feel it, and it was a huge contrast to the much smaller city of Austin. I absolutely love everything about San Antonio. If it would snow there, it’d be my favorite city! (Though I’m not really sure which city would be, even with snow, so perhaps San Antonio gets that honor.)

We dropped off our rental car and headed back to the airport to go our separate ways. It was a fantastic trip, and already we’re excitedly planning our next one. It was a perfect anniversary week.

Vampirized!

In honor of Valentine's Day, the BioPark ran a number of programs involving the mating systems of various organisms. Our particular program was entitled "Love Bugs," and we aimed to have a number of arthropods on display that would exhibit a number of unusual mating systems. One of the most unusual insects, in terms of its mating style, is the bed bug, so we set out on a quest to obtain a number of specimens. I spent several days contacting local pest control companies, many of whom probably thought I was pranking them. I also contacted a few known bed bug researchers, several of whom either did not call me back or were dead ends.

On the Wednesday before the event, I finally managed to reach a fellow from Virginia Tech who was working with an active colony. He was kind enough to ship about 50 bed bugs to us overnight, also providing us with a wealth of information on care and upkeep. I set the critters up under the microscope so the event's attendees could finally see what these creatures actually look like. We discussed its violent mating technique, as well (the male essentially stabs the female's abdomen and deposits his sperm in the body cavity with the hopes that some reach the egg). After the event ended, we were left with a decision: should we maintain the colony or euthanize it?

Now, in all the Insectariums I have visited, I have NEVER seen a bed bug exhibit, so we decided we had something really unique and special. They are relevant to society, and incredibly interesting, so letting such an important specimen escape us seemed wrong. The main issue would be feeding...how, and on WHOM.

Well, I decided immediately that I would be the host. So long as none could escape, I wouldn't mind sacrificing a little of my blood to keep these critters around. They aren't vectors for disease, so my only concern would be how it would feel. But I didn't really have to worry about that until the following Wednesday...which was today!

After I'd finished all the chores I could possibly think of, that left only one thing...me and my collection of bloodthirsty arthropods. I sat down at my computer and regarded my congregation of critters. They were in a small jar that had a finely meshed screen hot glued around one end. Supposedly I should just put the screen against my arm, and for the next 12 minutes, they would do the rest. After much stalling, I finally gathered my courage and placed it to my arm.

The normally mellow bugs suddenly scurried about frantically. They knew their next blood meal was near. From the larger adults down to the tiny nymphs, they migrated quickly to the screen, and then I felt it. Tiny, prickly stabs that absolutely wigged me out! It wasn't exactly painful, just weird and really creepy. I had to stop. I waited a couple minutes and tried again, but it was just too disturbing...but I HAD to do this thing! My unique little arthropods had to live off something, er, someONE!

I decided to numb the area, to lessen the effect. I iced my arm for a good 10 minutes before mustering up the nerve to try again. And this time, I did it. I held the jar tightly against my arm and saw the bugs congregate. This time, though, I felt nothing...just the frenzied excitement from my critters. I opted to hold the jar down for an additional 5 minutes because I wasn't sure that they were feeding when my skin was so cold. After about 6 minutes, I could start to feel the prickling again, and it got pretty itchy. Still, it wasn't so bad, and I manned up for the next 11 minutes, watching in awe as the tiny, pale bed bugs morphed into plump, red capsules of blood...MY blood.

I had been told that females and people with high melanin levels tend to react more strongly to bed bug bites. Seeing as how I am female and extremely pale, I wasn't sure what to expect. Luckily, save for a bit of red bumpiness that went away within an hour, it didn't really affect me at all. In fact, if anything, it was kind of a rush! I'll be doing weekly feedings from now on, so it's good that I got used to it quickly. I find it amusing that I'm intentionally nourishing one of nature's most reviled pests...but they just want to survive like the rest of us! They're my pet project now, and I'm pretty excited for its uniqueness, if nothing else. Ah, the things I do for the love of my job!

Colorado, Sept. 2010

After several weeks of discussion with his former roommates Bart and Duane, Nathan and I made plans to swing up to Colorado to spend some time with them again. We hadn’t seen them since our wedding three years ago, so Bart, Janet, and Kate’s visit to Colorado Springs sounded like a perfect opportunity. We planned on meeting them on Saturday morning, with the intention of visiting the Great Sand Dunes National Park, so because that would be quite a haul, Nate and I decided to head up on Friday, and to spend the evening in the lovely town of Trinidad, CO.

We left work slightly early so we could make good time, as we had a number of things we wanted to do while in town. The drive up was uneventful, though we were starving much of the way. We stopped in Las Vegas briefly with the intention of getting a quick bite to eat, but for some reason, we couldn’t find any restaurants! We were in too much of a hurry to really try much harder, so we just continued on our way.

Once in Trinidad, we stopped at a ma and pa motel, the Budget Inn, and checked in for the night. The room was rather large and had a strange odor, but we didn’t stick around for long. Dusk was settling, and we had some geocaching to do. Our first cache brought us to a baseball park in a hilly part of town. We trudged through the brush and the hills and found our spoils just as darkness was settling in. We were glad to have our first Colorado cache, but decided the rest would have to wait until tomorrow.

From there, we motored over to Rino’s, the Italian restaurant with singing wait staff that I had visited a few years ago. We had such a great time, and the food was superb, and the singing brought me back to a bygone era during which time I’m sure I was supposed to have lived. Unfortunately, the restaurant is never open for lunch, so getting Nate there had been a challenge. This time, we were not disappointed! We were seated after a five minute wait and were treated to show tunes and songs from the 1950s that I knew so well. It was hard to resist running up there and grabbing the mic and just belting a tune along with them! And EVERYONE sang…the host, the waiters, the chef, and the busboys. And they were all wonderful! No doubt they all had to audition to even work there. On top of that, the atmosphere is so high class…chandeliers, low lighting, and situated in an historic building from the 1800s. We were served bread and oil, which is often bland at many such restaurants. Here, it was flavorful enough to be downright addicting! And our meals were superb, too. We were also treated to a little extra entertainment by the two guys seated next to us who were getting pretty inebriated and were making plans to come back again the next day. Oh, how I would have loved to have come back again soon. We need more places like this – so special and unique, with quality to boot! Rino’s is a must-do if ever one is in Trinidad.

The next morning, we got up early, as we had a lot of things we needed to do before meeting the gang up in Walsenburg. We started out by hiking up the bluff with the Trinidad sign (ala the Hollywood sign) overlooking the city. We’d attempted this once before, but weren’t sure which road was accessible to the public. We’d considered driving it, but the gravel road made me uneasy in my car, even though I have driven on much worse. The sheer drop-offs weren’t encouraging. We hauled ourselves up the road for a little under a mile before leveling out atop the bluff. We joined a few other people up there, enjoying the views and cozying up with the giant letters. The other group started to drive back down the road, and we high-tailed it back on foot, beating them down by quite a healthy lead. Then we picked up a few more geocaches before hitting the road up to Walsenburg.

We ran a little late, and the gang was already there waiting for us. It sounded like Kate was being a bit fussy, so we decided the Great Sand Dunes may not be the best option right now. Still, we all came quite a way and hadn’t seen each other in forever, so we decided to catch a bite to eat in town. We found a diner downtown, and seeing as our other options were basically fast food, we decided to give it a shot. We were pleasantly surprised, as the food was decent, and despite being outside of New Mexico, their green chile was not too shabby. The only downside was the extremely slow service, but we had no real plans just yet, so it was ok.

After eating, it appeared that Kate was doing better, so we suggested, rather than heading further south, why don’t we head north, back toward Colorado Springs, and hit the infamous Bishop’s Castle. Nate and I had been there way back in 2002, on our very first trip together, and, seeing as how it’s a work in progress, we wanted to see what, if anything, was new. Much to our delight, everyone agreed, and we began our trek, along windy mountain roads, to this monument to hard working poor people.

Duane and company sped off, and we lost them, but they also stopped for gas, so we wound up beating them to the castle by about 15 minutes. Nate and I didn’t waste any time, and we headed up to the spectacle of human ingenuity. How would one describe Bishop’s Castle? Well, it’s a structure built out of scrap and refuse, by a man of questionable sanity. All around the site are signs full of rantings about the establishment, and warning people to climb at their own risk. Once you arrive, you are greeted to the verbal rantings of Mr. Bishop himself, as he yells about the government and the sheeple of society. Between rantings, he occasionally stops to work on his newest addition: the moat.

The castle itself is an enormous building with three main floors and a number of towers, each of which you can climb. A dragon adorns the front of the castle, way up high, and it used to breathe fire before the establishment put a stop to that. Darned risk of forest fires. There are also balconies that wrap around the outside, and many spots which don’t really have railings. It is no place for someone with a fear of heights. Like me. Haha! But I’ve been on a “getting over fears” kick for a while now, so I wasn’t going to let a little acrophobia keep me from experiencing something this cool.

Last time we were here, I only went part way into the orb tower: the section of the castle sporting a round orb that originally was meant to rotate. This time, through the encouragement of other scared visitors, I made it to the top. Yeah!! Then, the rest of the gang joined us, and I got even braver. Duane, Bart, and I climbed into the tallest tower of all. It seemed like the spiral staircase just led into infinity. I got ALMOST all the way to the top (and had I realized there was a guestbook up there, I probably wouldn’t have turned back). The only reason I stopped was that the steps got narrower and narrower, and there were large sections with NO wall and essentially nothing of substance on which to cling besides the steps themselves. Still, I got within one twist of the top, which I think is pretty impressive. I was surprised to run into a group that toted a daschund with them – in their arms. I used my hands to crawl up the darned thing. I dunno how they managed!

Then Duane and I went back to the orb for a photo shoot. Nate stood on solid ground and took our picture…many times. The entire time, the structure was swaying and making awful squealing sounds, and we were just gritting our teeth saying, “Hurry!! Take the picture already!” Haha! It was awesome. Quite the rush, indeed.

After we’d exhausted all explorable nooks, we reconvened at a picnic table in the shade. I had told them about a tiki bar that served German food, of all things, up near CO Springs, and I had been wanting to go back for a long time. I don’t think anyone really believed that such a place existed, but being this far, I figured it’d be a perfect time to go back. We’d planned on going back to NM that night, but it was Saturday…what’s another day out of the weekend? So we headed up to CO Springs, following Duane back to his house. On the way, we passed an insect museum we’ll definitely have to return to see. Other than that, it was mostly uneventful.

We arrived at Duane’s house, which is located down a tiny street that most people wouldn’t even notice, and amongst some trees. It’s also alongside a small farm owned by the university. Duane gave us a tour of his lovely home, and then we went next door to see the farm’s chickens. While there, some students came over to greet us, and we chatted chickens a bit. Of course, they called their easter egger chickens Araucanas, which was totally wrong (and corrected ME when I called them EE’s!), but whatever. Araucanas are a very rare (and tailless!) breed, as are Ameraucanas, yet just because their birds lay blue or green eggs, everyone thinks that’s what they have. What they have are common mutts. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – I have easter eggers, too. It’s just that this is a very sensitive point amongst serious breeders of true “aucanas,” and a huge area of ignorance among many chicken owners. Oh well, /rant. :)

After settling for a while and playing with Duane’s adorable and vocal cat, Nate, Bart, Duane and I headed over to my restaurant: The Castaways in Manitou Springs. It was just as I remembered it: a cozy, island-themed restaurant, complete with lovely tiki drinks and weinerschnitzel. We had a fun time, joking about the menu and laughing about this and that. While the food wasn’t as great as I remembered from last time, it was still a fun place that I’d recommend again. I’m so glad we were able to spend as much time as we did with everyone! Hopefully we can do it again before another three years go by.

After dinner, we briefly stopped at the grocery store, and then we bade farewell to the guys. Nate and I hit the road, heading south with plans to stay in Alamosa for the night. We tried to beat the darkness, but it eventually caught up with us before we made it to Walsenburg. On the way, I made reservations at the Grizzly Inn, which wound up looking worrisomely like a Travelodge (with which I’ve had really bad experiences). Luckily, it was just fine, and we were able to spend a restful night there.

The next morning, we got up early and found a number of geocaches around town. I really love geocaching in new places because it allows you to get to know a town and see places you might ordinarily not have visited. This was no exception, as we visited some neat city parks and some forested open space land. The only trick is that you wind up looking suspicious in the process. We were even being watched suspiciously by some homeowners at one point. Oh well, we were as discreet as possible!

After we’d exhausted our list of geocaches, we headed over to the Great Sand Dunes, another place Nate and I had explored on our first trip together. That time, we were lucky, as it had recently rained and the sand was easier to traverse. It was also cooler. Despite all that, it wasn’t really bad at all! The sand was much easier on which to walk than I expected, though it is still a challenging workout. We hiked pretty far in, my goal being to get to the end of the dunes, or at least to the highest dune. We got really far and darned high, but it was getting late, and we eventually did have to turn back. Plus, the sand wasn’t doing my poor camera any favors, though we did get some nice shots. It was like being in the Sahara, and I still say they should rent camels – what a neat addition that would be!

So from there, we headed on home, stopping briefly for a very disappointing Dairy Queen experience with rude employees. It’s a shame that’s the only convenient DQ on our way home from points north. We made it home before too late and had a bit of time to relax before starting our work week. It was a wonderful, though whirlwind, trip, but it’s always nice to get home.

Tennessee, August 2010

For many years, Nate and I had talked about wanting to visit Dollywood, as it sounded like a neat park and was the only major park in Tennessee that I had not yet managed to visit. By a stroke of luck, Nate was informed that he was to attend a conference in Oak Ridge, which is just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Pigeon Forge. He was told this a mere week beforehand, so we hurriedly made plans to head on out.

Nate arrived a few days ahead of me, as he had the week-long conference, and I still had to work. I flew into Knoxville late Thursday night, and Nate picked me up at the airport, which was clean and airy and had a cooling water feature running the length of the hallway. I hadn’t eaten at all, so we decided to see what we could find en route to Oak Ridge. That’s when we spotted it: a Krystal. I’d seen these before, and they looked just like White Castles, but neither of us had actually been to the knockoff. We went in and perused the menu. Nate wound up getting the chicken sandwiches, and I had the cheeseburgers. Oh my goodness, it was JUST like White Castle (except they listen when you say no onion and actually give you the pickles and sauce instead of thinking “no onion” means plain). Plus, the restaurant was very clean, and southern hospitality was pleasantly evident in the friendly employees. Now, you have to really be in the mood for White Castle (or Krystal, for that matter), and it is a bit of an acquired taste, so Nate wasn’t happy with any of it (though later on he said the chicken sandwiches weren’t bad). Still, I’m glad we had the experience, although next time I’d stick with my White Castle rule and opt for no cheese. Bleh.

After our quick dinner, we headed back to Oak Ridge and settled into our hotel, which was pretty nice. The next morning, Nate had to go back to the conference, so I just relaxed back in the room, playing on the internet. I thought about venturing out and exploring, but it was kind of nice to just stay in a bit. Nate got back a little before noon, and we packed up and hit the road eastward.

Our first stop was the city of Knoxville, due to a brew pub rumored to be located there. What a neat city! It had a lot of yesteryear charm, and it felt very welcoming, probably thanks in part to the high density of police scouring downtown. We made our way to the Downtown Grill and Brewery, where we dined on sandwiches and Nate had his beer sampler. It was about average, as these places go. We also joked about a table full of people wearing neon green shirts, declaring they were Knoxville’s version of the Red Hat Ladies. Afterward, we wandered around downtown briefly before getting the car and heading out to Pigeon Forge.

We pulled off I-40 in the town of Sevierville, hometown of Dolly Parton, and county seat of Sevier County, a place from which I used to catalog insects while as an undergrad. We continued on to Pigeon Forge, a resort town extraordinaire, much like Wisconsin Dells or Myrtle Beach. The main strip was adorned with kitschy tourist traps like a life-sized Titanic museum, many dinner theaters, miniature golf, go-karts, and more pancake restaurants than I’d ever seen in a single place. We considered visiting the Titanic museum, but it was a bit pricey. We still had some time to kill before making our way over to Dollywood (they have a special in which you can arrive after 2pm and get in free the next day, so we were waiting on that). We decided to check out the Zorb attraction. Zorb is essentially a giant hamster ball in which a person can ride while being pushed down a rather steep hill. This is the only permanent location in the United States, and I was super intrigued. The hill didn’t seem all that long, but it was more impressive than the portable versions I’d seen elsewhere. They had four different courses, some zigzagging, some you can ride with multiple people, and some they toss water in with you. It was pricey, too, so we decided to hold off. Instead we drove off into Gatlinburg, the neighboring resort town at the edge of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. We tooled around, admiring all the kitsch, and keeping in mind what we’d like to do next. What caught our eye most was Hillbilly Golf, a small establishment crammed against a mountainside, with a tiny little parking lot and no real greens to be seen. Then we saw why. There was an elevated tram that traveled right up the steep and wooded cliff, at the top of which were two snaking miniature golf courses. Of course this was so unique we HAD to try it. So we took our seat in the tram and slowly ascended the mountain. At the top, we decided to do the course on the right (as you look up) and had a great time playing our way back down. Maybe next time we’re out there we can do the other course. By the time we finished, it was time to get over to Dollywood.

Dollywood is located well off the main drag of Pigeon Forge. I thought for sure I’d be able to see the rides from somewhere, but the park is hidden from view, even from its own parking lot! We parked and missed the tram, so we high-tailed it over to the gate by foot. We got our tickets and found ourselves surrounded by the wonder that is Dollywood. Beyond the gate are a number of shops and theaters. Butterflies, Dolly’s favorite symbol of freedom and beauty, adorned many buildings and signs. We decided to start to our right and found our way over to Dolly’s tour bus. After a moderate wait, we were allowed inside to admire her home away from home (that is, until she purchased her new bus), including a luxurious bath area, a lovely bedroom, a well-equipped kitchen, and some scary looking triple bunk beds for the bus drivers and her best friend who often goes along for the ride.

From there, we continued through Jukebox Junction which was modeled after a 1950s era town. We rode the motor cars, and then headed over to ride the log flume, which was fun and pretty wet. Then we headed over to the train: The Dollywood Express. This was easily our longest wait of the day, but at least we were able to sit on board while we waited. The coal-fired steam engine took us 5 miles into the Great Smokies on a pleasant ride that would have been even more pleasant were it not for the cinders that I kept getting in my eyes. Yeesh!

After this, we headed over to the Country Fair section where we got our first coaster credit of the trip: The Veggie Tales Sideshow Spin. It was the typical kiddie coaster, but one that Nate actually rode as well. Nothing too spectacular, it still is fun to show we have no shame when it comes to coaster credits (or at least, I don’t). Time was running out on us at this point, so we took a few quick spins on the Sky Rider, the Disk-O, the Ferris wheel, and the carousel. Then we hurried out of the park, anticipating what the next day would have to offer.

It was pretty early, so we checked into our hotel which provided us with vouchers for a free go-kart spin, free pancake breakfast, and free tubing down the river that ran behind our building (which we wanted to do but didn’t have enough time for). Then we decided to head back into Gatlinburg to try out the next brew pub on the list: The Smoky Mountain Brewery and Restaurant. We were seated in a little nook under the sloping ceilings of the second floor, in a building that felt very rustic and cabin-esque. We enjoyed pizza and beer and good service. It was a nice way to wind down from our hectic day.

Once we finished eating, the night was still young, and the town was still hopping. We headed over to an indoor mini-golf place right near our parking lot. It was circus-themed, and on top of that, it was also incredibly trippy when viewed with 3-D glasses. Talk about making it hard to get around! It was a real trip, and definitely another mini golf course I would highly recommend. Then we wandered around town a bit more, partaking in some moonshine samples, which were really strong, although the apple-flavored one was quite pleasant, and debating whether to do the haunted house (a bit pricey, so no) and getting ice cream. Nate, of course, had no problem with his ice cream. Mine, however, turned into a sticky waterfall the second we walked out the door. I was a tacky, slimy mess, and it was quite a spectacle to watch me try to eat what was left of the thing. There was a nice puddle of mapley goodness that marked my dairy debacle. After all this, we decided it was probably time to get back and get some rest before tomorrow’s adventures.

As usual, we had a busy day ahead of us, so we got up early and headed over to the Smoky Mountain Pancake House for our complimentary breakfast. Neither of us are big breakfast eaters, and I’m not a fan of pancakes, but they were decent. Way too much food, though. From there, we headed back to Dollywood, paying another $8 to park, but it was well worth it, not having to pay the hefty admission price again. This time, Nate and I swung left, heading toward the thrilling part of the park.

First up was Thunderhead, the incredible, powerful, airtime-ridden wooden coaster. It was such a solid, wonderful ride that we re-rode it at least 4 times throughout the day. Easily a top ten wooden roller coaster. Next we did the Lumberjack Lifts, a manual drop ride of sorts on which you pull yourself up a tower on pulleys and then let yourself drop easily toward the ground. It was my compromise for not riding the (thankfully not running anyway) drop ride. Yeah, I’m chicken. So what? I’ll ride any roller coaster you give me.

Next, we did the Mystery Mine, a really neat and intensely compact roller coaster that features two 95 degree drops. It was so much fun that I had to re-ride it about 5 times, too. I really couldn’t say which of the two big coasters I liked best, but it was definitely up there.

As we continued our way around the park, we came across what would become Nate’s favorite ride in the park: The River Battle. It’s a gentle tracked boat ride on which riders face back to back and control their own water cannons. During the ride, you can blast other boats or bystanders. People on land also have the option of operating cannons to blast you. There is no way you’re coming off that ride anything less than drenched. We re-rode this one many times throughout the day, too. And Nate came back to it even more, as I went to re-ride Mystery Mine.

Next up was Dolly’s newest attraction: Adventure Mountain. This is touted as the largest high ropes course in existence, and it’s a wonder it isn’t an upcharge attraction. They harness you in, and set you free to explore three separate high ropes courses. Between each platform, you have three different options of advancing along the course (not to mention the stairs). Now, I’d done a high ropes course before, in actual trees, and I know you’re in no real danger, but the acrophobic in me takes a lot of convincing. I’ll admit, I did opt for the stairs in a lot of instances, but when we got to course 3, I decided I was going to advance the real way between every platform. It even had a particularly scary element on which you have to scoot around the outside of the structure, clinging to a mountainside. Nate didn’t do that one, but I promised myself, and I was so happy I did it. Talk about an adrenaline rush! The only thing it was really missing was the zip line at the end.

We continued on, riding the Tennessee Tornado, a large Arrow looper, twice including once in the front. It wasn’t rough, but it started giving me quite a headache, so I had to stop. Then we did Blazing Fury, the indoor splashdown coaster/dark ride. From there, we rode the flume, the indoor simulator adventure (Smoky Mountain Wilderness Adventure Tour), and then backtracked to re-ride all the things we enjoyed. I’m so glad we had two days to explore the park because, even though the crowds were light, there was just so much to take in. Dollywood is a definite must-see to anyone going through Pigeon Forge, country music fan or not.

Once we’d had our fill of rides, we knew time was a-wasting, so after a quick stop at Hardee’s (for some Midwestern nostalgia, despite Carl’s Jr. being the same thing) we headed out to the Great Smoky Mountains themselves. I had always wanted to visit because it is the salamander capital of the world, and being an amphibian researcher, how could I not? We made our way around the park, stopping at “quiet walkways” and more major trails. We decided to head over to Cades Cove on the western side of the park, winding along the foggy road and sitting out a rain storm, while taking a much-needed nap. After continuing on, we wound up behind the slowest people ever, and being a single lane, we couldn’t do anything about it. It did work in our favor when we came across a meadow with a family of bears. I took some pictures, but they didn’t come out great…but at least I saw them! That was exciting and well worth it. Because of the people going 5 in a 20, we weren’t able to make it to the gift shop to get the patch I wanted, and we arrived at our trail at the onset of dusk. Undeterred, we decided to hike out to Abrams Falls, a 4.2 mile trek. Wanting to make up for lost time, and not wanting to be stuck in the woods after dark, I hauled it, running more than half the way on any bits of trail that were free of rocks or roots. I could have probably run the entire thing, I felt that fit! Ah, the wonders of visiting places that are lower in elevation than your home. It took us about an hour to get there, and we basically saw the falls (they weren’t THAT spectacular, but they were pretty), took some pictures, and hauled it back out of there. I was in such a hurry to get back that I didn’t really pay attention to much else. Nate, however, spotted something in the hastily diminishing light. He called me back, and there, on the trail, was a tiny lungless salamander! I have no idea how he spotted it. It was so dark that I couldn’t make out any details, so I took a flash photograph to study later. (I still haven’t identified it, but at least I know it’s a Plethodontid!).

We got back to the car with just a hint of light left in the sky, and hurriedly drove back to Pigeon Forge. Not wanting to miss out on any kitsch, we stopped to check out the Jurassic Jungle Boat Ride which featured some freaky mannequins and a mixture of really cool and really cheesy dinosaurs. It was overpriced, but it was worth seeing once. I think, as a kid, the spitting snake that comes out of a hole in the wall above you at the very end would have freaked the heck out of me. It was a good time.

Sunday morning, we still had a lot of exploring to do, so we hit the road early again. We headed back to the Smokies and took the main road from Sugarlands Visitor Center to Oconaluftee Visitor Center on the North Carolina side of the park. One really nice thing about the Smokies is that it’s one of the few national parks that doesn’t charge to visit, not that it mattered to us, as we’re pass holders, but still. We admired the fog and mist, the reason for the name bestowed upon these mountains. It was so lush and wonderful! We stopped at more trails and sites along our way, including the overlook at the state line and the watchtower at Clingmans Dome, the highest point along the Appalachian Trail (which is another adventure we’d love to try one day). Our last hike, which took us out to another waterfall, afforded us the opportunity to see an Ambystomatid salamander, which we might not have noticed if a bunch of kids weren’t harassing them. We stuck around ‘til they left and made sure the critters were ok, and we got a nice picture of the salamander. Next time, I’d love to stay longer and really focus on finding salamanders. What an amazingly biodiverse location!

At this point, time was quickly slipping away, and we needed to get to the airport. We took a quick spin on the spiraling wooden go-kart track, thanks to the voucher from our hotel. Then, on our way out of town in Sevierville, we made one last stop at the NASCAR SpeedPark, home of our final coaster credit: The Speedway Draft. It was another kiddie coaster, and I felt somewhat silly riding it, but it’s another credit down! From there, we hit the road and made it back to the airport in plenty of time for our flight. It was another great trip, and I really look forward to visiting the region again sometime!

Adventures in Western Canada: July, 2010

After much debate over trips such as a New England roller coaster tour, a journey to see the sights of the Dakotas and Montana, and an Alaskan cruise, we settled on a trek through western Canada which would include two amusement parks and some of the most beautiful Rocky Mountain vistas imaginable. It made sense, as it would provide a variety of enjoyable activities, not to mention that it would finally get me out of the US for the first time in 12 years.

Fri. July 23rd, 2010

We hit the road early, heading for the Albuquerque Sunport. Along the way, I saw a guy throw trash out of his car, and I about lost it – I’m so fed up with these people making a dump of our world, and I was so mad, I wanted to run him down and give him hell. What a way to start our trip! Luckily, I had calmed down by the time we got to the airport, and we settled down to await our flight, indulging on green chile stew (our last chance at this manna for about 10 days), and gazing out the window, watching airplanes go by. The first leg of our flight found us touching down in Salt Lake City, and it was such a joy to see the sights I used to know from above this time. I recognized so much of the area, particularly on our second leg, flying over the Uintah Mountains I used to frequent in my searches for pikas and flying squirrels. I knew all the roads and landmarks, and I almost missed it. Almost. It is beautiful country, I’ll give it that. I also tried in vain to spot my old cabin at the Ogden Bay Wildlife Management Area, but I was probably on the wrong side of the plane. I knew we must have flown nearly right over it, though.

Descending into Alberta, we noticed that it seemed incredibly flat. Lots of odd crops checker boarded the area, particularly something neon yellow that we later discovered was canola. Rainbows graced our downward glide in the form of perfect rings, reminding me of my descent into Singapore many years ago, and being a symbol of good fortune in my mind. We deplaned and walked through the airport, admiring all the bilingual signs, which allowed me to practice my French. At customs, we were greeted by authentic Canadian Mounties, which was exciting, though I had visions of Dudley Do Right. Once through, we were off to get our rental car, and then we visited the ATM to get our Canadian money. Anything under $5 is in change form, so we’d often be seen paying in change, which seemed almost obnoxious by American standards, but I guess it’s typical there. It reminded me of a psych 101 experiment in which they had us buy something in pennies to gauge other people’s reactions.

We left the airport and started our journey to find the hotel. Driving through Calgary, we noticed how polite the drivers were. They’d actually let you in without a fight if you needed to change lanes. The city itself had some topography, but it seemed as though much of it was due to the river cutting through a generally flat region. It seemed more lush than the American west, and the city itself was pretty spread out and moderately populated. We considered the area, and all of Canada for that matter, as “America lite.”

We eventually made it to the hotel, a Travelodge, which worried me because I’ve had some horrifying experiences at Travelodges in the past. Luckily, ours was relatively clean and pleasant (save for a snotty receptionist who was rude to the guy ahead of us) which made staying two nights bearable. There were a few questionable characters on our floor, but they stayed out of our way. One exciting thing about our hotel was that it housed a comedy club! We were so excited because our local club has been closed for over a year, and we’d been going through withdrawal. PLUS, hotel guests get in for free! We took note and got ready for the rest of our evening.

After changing into nicer clothes, we headed out toward downtown. Along the way, we passed the famous Saddledome, which, being shaped like a saddle, wasn’t domelike at all! Haha! This is on the grounds where they have the annual Calgary Stampede, a celebration of all things western and rodeo. Apparently Calgary becomes a madhouse whenever it’s going on, so it’s lucky we had just missed it, though we’d probably have checked it out anyway. Once downtown, we found a parking garage under the Calgary Tower (like Seattle’s Space Needle), and made our way up. We were a bit early for dinner, so we toured the tower, reluctantly standing on the glass floor that looks down to the street below. Not for the faint of heart! The lookout offered spectacular 360 degree views of the city and surrounding area. The Rockies looked so tiny and distant from our vantage point.

Eventually it was time for dinner, and we made our way down to the floor below. Our restaurant looked quite high end, though it was probably mostly for show, and it rotated at a slightly faster pace than the last tower restaurant we tried in Dallas, TX. My spaghetti was wonderful, and the sangria I had knocked me out. It was fun to talk to the waiter, who obviously thought we were Canadian (despite me referring to temperature in “Fahrenheit,” and he responding in Celsius (he must have thought it was pretty hot where we came from!). I inquired from where the shellfish was caught, and everything was from “PEI,” or Prince Edward Island (which I luckily knew – many Americans would’ve been like, “what?!”). Haha! Nate and I had a great evening, joking about a guy at a nearby table that “MUST” have been Paul Schaffer, and making up stories about the people around us. Oh, and we must have heard “aboot” a million times! Too funny! I genuinely loved it.

After dinner, we got stamps at the Marriott, and then headed back to our hotel to see the comedy club. The opening acts consisted of two awkward locals making references to things we outsiders found bewildering, such as a TV station that always shows burning logs. Huh? The headliner was Justin Leon, from Kansas City, and we totally related to him. He was great! Turned out we were the only Americans in the room (or anyone else wasn’t brave enough to raise their hands when asked…we didn’t either!). Other than the club trying to charge us despite being guests, and me not being able to keep the token they give us before we leave as a souvenir (don’t ask, I’m not sure myself), it was a great time!

Sat. July 24th, 2010

After a decent night’s sleep, we headed out around 9am to visit the Calgary Zoo. It was a much larger zoo than we’d expected, situated on St. Patrick’s Island in the Bow River. It just kept going and going! They even had a few animals I don’t recall seeing elsewhere such as the Japanese serow: a relative of the goat, and a musk ox, which I KNOW I’ve never seen anywhere. That was the coolest thing to me, as I’d always wanted to see one in person. My next goal is to see one in the wild. One thing we noticed about the zoo was the mouse infestation – almost every indoor enclosure had a serious mouse problem. We got a kick out of finding the mice more than finding whatever animal was supposed to reside within. Beyond that, the exhibits were huge and generally nice. They had a large section on Canadian animals, a butterfly house, and most interestingly, a huge dinosaur area through which you could walk amongst life-sized, and occasionally movable dinos. It was fantastic! They were in the midst of constructing a new penguin area, so we’ll have to go check that out again sometime.

After the zoo, we headed back into downtown Calgary to check out Brewster’s, our first brew pub of the trip. It was situated on the outskirts of downtown, but it still seemed pretty congested for my liking. Still, Calgary isn’t oppressively large, so it wasn’t a big deal. We parked a block away and headed over. I had an ok chicken quesadilla for lunch, and Nate and I shared two samplers because there were too many beers to try with just one.

After lunch, we headed west for Calaway Park, Calgary’s resident amusement park. It was a cute little park for a town the size of Calgary, but they could definitely stand to grow a bit. Upon entering, you’re greeted to a kiddie town that resembled a generic Bedrock. We climbed a large purple tower and surveyed the area. The park wasn’t very large, but they did have a roller coaster. Thanks to our late arrival and to waiting in line for the log flume for well over an hour, we only managed about 10 rides. We did get a credit on The Vortex, but I skipped the Super Jet, as it was a powered roller coaster. Vortex was a typical Arrow corkscrew, but it was exceptionally smooth and enjoyable. I rode a Chance Chaos with an older lady who handled the spinning quite well, and talking to her was a treat. Beyond that, the only other real ride of note was actually a walkthrough haunted house, which is a rare surprise. Other than that, being set amongst farm fields along the expressway, it really wasn’t outstanding in any way. Still, it is nice that a town like Calgary has a park…every city should!

On the way back to our hotel, we stopped by the Canada Olympic Park which, unlike the one in Park City, UT, was basically abandoned. You could see the old ski hills and jumps, and walk amongst some statues, but beyond that, it looked like any touristy things like zip lines and such had been left to rot. So sad. We walked around a bit, taking some pictures, and marveling at how short some of those ski runs seemed. Really, despite how it looks on TV, a lot of those runs aren’t all that high up. Still, it was interesting to see…maybe it has more activity during other times of year.

For dinner, we ate at a pub near our hotel called Limerick’s. I tried a Canadian margarita, which was ok, from what I recall. Not much different from ours, really. Ok, not as good, but decent. I also had a shepherd’s pie which was way too filling and rather gross. Nate enjoyed his salad, however. After this, we were exhausted and had to rest up for our next exciting day.

Sun. July 25th, 2010

We had a wonderful night’s sleep and managed to amble out of our hotel around 11am. We drove west through some lovely green fields and rolling hills, and eventually we reached the mountains. We stopped for lunch in Canmore, a touristy town just within the Rockies, after finding a mailbox in a grocery store and nearly getting stopped for jaywalking. Eep! Lunch was had at the Bear Paw Brew Pub, which had some really good raspberry beer and god-awful nachos. We walked around town a bit, marveling at the crystal clear rivers and pristine scenery. Then we decided to head up one of the mountains to do the Grassi Lakes hike. We opted for the “hard up, easy down” method, which is usually my preferred plan of attack, and it turned out to be the best way. The scenery was amazing, the water was the most brilliant shades of blue and green, and we were treated to a gorgeous waterfall, too. The hike back down was quick and easy – a welcome relief from the near vertical climb up. (Ok, there were stairs, but still!)

From here, we headed off to Banff. To even get to the town itself, you need to pass through the national park gates and pay the entry fee. We were greeted with a “Hello, bonjour!” and I could almost feel the tenseness as if they hoped we wouldn’t say “bonjour” back. Haha! Maybe that was just imagined, since I’d have felt that way. My French is a bit rusty after 14 years. Once through the gates, we made our way through the gorgeous mountain scenery to the actual town of Banff.

Now, back before I ever got here, I envisioned Banff National Park to be a remote wilderness, far off the beaten path, where only the most adventurous of people would travel. That couldn’t have been farther from the truth. For one thing, there’s the town of Banff. In Banff. And by town, I mean a fair-sized tourist town complete with hotels, shops, homes, castles, and people galore. It was bigger than I expected after hearing Nathan’s stories of nearly being run down by a grizzly bear near the town’s center on his last trip. The mere existence of this town would translate into having lots of tourists on almost every trail we would traverse. My initial worries of happening upon a large bear or wild moose were brushed aside. In fact, wildlife would be next to nonexistent during our trip due to a number of factors, not least of which including the vast numbers of people around. It turns out that summer is the off-season for animal viewing, as most venture off into the distant wilderness and higher elevations. Also, apparently Canada’s wildlife kill-off was even more extreme than that of the United States. While I was expecting to see much more wildlife due to the “remoteness” and lower population density, I would be quite disappointed. In fact, many of the animals that do reside within the Canadian national parks are transplants from the United States.

We made our way to our first night’s hotel, the Banff Caribou Lodge. It would wind up being my favorite of the three places we would stay in the park. The rooms were luxurious though not overly glitzy, and there was a spa area that was free to all guests. We checked in, and then decided to wander around town for a bit. We found two geocaches, one in town itself, and one just off a trail in the woods. We had to buy a souvenir pen to log our caches, having forgotten to bring one. During our second, wooded cache, we ran into another group of people caching as well. We tried to be as inconspicuous as we could. Between caches, we walked over to the Fairmont, the most famous hotel in Banff, and explored. It can’t be described as anything less than a castle, with winding hallways and large rooms leading to other large rooms. There were antique ball rooms, restaurants, museums, sitting areas, sunrooms, balconies, shops, a bowling alley (which we never found), and much more that just seemed to go on eternally. There were staircases that spiraled down into what seemed like dungeons, too. It was incredible. And the views of the mountains and river were astounding. Of course, after all our hiking we looked very underdressed for this place, but neither of us cared. Most people MUST be here for the outdoor adventure anyway, right? Right?? I was starting to not be as convinced…

After all of our adventures, including a quick spur to see where Nate and Eve witnessed the charging bear, we wound up at the Banff Brew Pub, which, excitingly, was so new we didn’t even know about it! To add to our delight, they gave us a coupon as we walked in. Nate and I shared the Hippy Fist Pumper, a vegetarian concoction of portabella, mashed potato, tofu, asparagus, and eggplant. They also had some decent beer. We were waited on by an Aussie with whom we chit chatted, too. It seemed most people who worked in Banff were from some faraway place. It’s so beautiful, I can see why.

After dinner, we walked around some more, getting ice cream (Nate had moople walnut, and I had butter pecan and mocha almond fudge because I can never decide on just one). Then we meandered back, stopping briefly at a small mall that had an interesting international food court. We also wandered by a hotel with a deer lawn ornament…or so we thought! Looking more closely, we realized it was alive!! Too neat. We got back to our hotel around 9 and headed over to the spa where we sat in the hot tub and relaxed for about a half hour. It was a lovely end to a busy day.

Mon. July 26th, 2010

We got up super early and were at Lake Louise (the second largest town in Banff, and quite dinky by comparison) by 9am. We made our way around the lake and looked at the enormous hotel, another Fairmont, though not nearly as impressive as the castle back in Banff, not bothering to go in. The first leg of our hike took us up to Mirror Lake, a small lake in the woods above Lake Louise. It was a trying hike, as I hadn’t really hiked much of anywhere in quite some time, but it wound up being a good workout. One of the things we noticed about the water in Banff itself was how opaque it seemed. Lake Louise was an icy blue chalky color, and apparently the color and opacity varies by season. Mirror Lake was slightly less opaque, but still not as mirror-like as I would have expected. We rested briefly before continuing up to Lake Agnes. Along the way, I was starting to wish we had opted for going on horseback, but that wouldn’t have been nearly as rewarding. It got really steep, and people around us were so slow. We passed everyone and left them in our dust, in fact. At Lake Agnes, there is actually a teahouse where you can buy breakfast or lunch, or just sit and relax with some beverages. It appears the only way to get provisions up here IS by horseback, it’s just that remote! But that little teahouse draws such large numbers of people that you really don’t feel like you’re that far removed from the rest of the world. It reminded me of how ants are drawn to sugar…there was just a streaming line of people coming in and out in such numbers, entering empty-handed and leaving carrying half their body weight in food, that they really didn’t seem that much different from ants. I’m really not sure how I feel about all that. But it was unusual!

After another brief rest, we continued on around Lake Agnes, viewing some pikas, much to my excitement, and a pine marten, which was an even rarer surprise. We continued even higher to a spectacular overlook from which you could see Lake Louise and its Fairmont, which, at this vantage point, looked like a Monopoly piece. It was still quite stunning, though.

Heading down from the viewpoint, we took a trail on which we didn’t pass a single soul. A bit wary of large wildlife, we took to singing TV theme songs to scare off any beasties. Diff’rent Strokes was our song of choice, though we threw a few others into the mix. Eventually we met up with another main trail which we took out to the Plain of the Six Glaciers. I had heard this was one of the few places you may be lucky enough to see a mountain goat, so we remained vigilant, but didn’t see any. I guess we really do need to come back another time of year. The hike out to the Plain itself was long and hot, a vast change from the forested mountainside from which we had come. About a mile from the plain was another teahouse where we stopped for a cool drink. Again, the people trailed like ants. The breezes at this point were quite odd…one moment they would be hot, and the next the glacier borne air would cool you off. We hiked out as close as we could get to the glaciers and even heard an avalanche in the distance. Finally, we turned back for the car after having hiked over 10 miles. It was a bit disconcerting when the signs for Lake Louise indicated our mileage (or kilometerage?) were going up and not down, but that must have been an oversight because we eventually did get back. Due to improper hiking socks, my feet were starting to blister really badly, although I only really noticed it after we would stop to rest for a few minutes. That made walking a bit tricky, and it only encouraged me to step up my pace and get back to the car as quickly as I could for some welcome relief. We walked back around Lake Louise and made it to the car a little after 4pm. On our drive back, we stopped at every short hike and overlook we could, and wound up eating at the Baker Creek Restaurant, touted to be the best restaurant in the park (though I’m not sure if they include the town of Banff in that declaration). We ate outside, and it was decent, although the service could have been better, and the food was a bit on the nouveau cuisine side. From there, we hiked to the Lower Falls, which was nearby, and as it was getting dark due to an incoming storm, we opted out of the Upper Falls. Sadly, we really saw little wildlife (due to our singing?). We checked into the Ptarmigan Inn (my least favorite of our three Banff hotels) just as the clouds were really starting to converge on us. We went down to the hotel’s restaurant and had a chocolate dessert to top off our night before nursing our wounds and hitting the hay.

Tues. July 27th, 2010

After having seen a large chunk of Banff’s most famous sites, we decided to mix it up a bit and headed over to see some of the other nearby national parks. We started with Kootenay, just over the border in British Columbia, where we did a short river hike, saw some ochre paint pots, and enjoyed some scenic overlooks. This wasn’t the largest of national parks, and I believe we saw pretty much all of it, save for what only backcountry travelers would reach. Sadly, the gift shop didn’t have any patches, so I settled for a pin, and we were on our way.

Then we drove south through Radium Hot Springs, where we ate lunch at Old Salzburg Restaurant, an exceptional German restaurant where I had some wienerschnitzel. It was so tasty that I didn’t even need extra lemon to improve it. Lovely. We continued on through the Columbia River Valley, which was strikingly and unsurprisingly like points south in Washington and Oregon. In fact, it was so obviously similar that I knew the nearby river was the Columbia just because it HAD to be. We eventually made it to the town of Golden, and I was so relieved when we did, as I was nearly falling asleep at the wheel. We switched drivers and continued on to Yoho National Park, also in B.C., where we hiked to Wapta Falls, seeing some ptarmigans on the way back. We attempted to find some hoodoos, or tent rocks, at one point, but couldn’t seem to find the access road. Then we did a hike around Emerald Lake, which was one of the most picturesque locations on our entire trip. Despite being surrounded by cabins and allowing canoeing, it was just so peaceful and serene. One side of the lake was forested and almost rainforest-lush, while the other was quite dry. The contrasts were incredible, and the reflectivity of the lake was amazing, allowing us countless incredible photo ops. If I were to go back, I’d love to spend more time there.

After Emerald Lake, we saw the town of Field, got a park patch, pinpointed the distant entrance to Spiral Cave, and headed on up to see Takakkaw Falls, arguably the highest waterfall in Canada. It is definitely the highest freefalling falls, but Della Falls is higher, though non-continuous. We hiked out as far as we could get, but the chilly evening air, coupled with the intense wind from the falls itself, made close approach quite unpleasant. We got within a quarter mile of the falls when the driving moisture from the falls started to encourage our retreat. It was so cold, I felt as though the waterfall mist would become a wintry mix before too long. We took some pictures and made a hasty departure for the car. My feet were so ripped up at this point that I hobbled most of the day, but again, once I was out and about, I could manage. It was just the first few steps after stopping that were awful.

Upon our return to Banff, we had dinner at an amazing sushi restaurant which featured a train. The chefs would make sushi and place them on color coded (by price) plates and send them around on the train, so you could pick up what you’d like. You could also make requests. Our chef (a female!) made the best darned saba I have ever had, and I made it a point to tell her so on our way out. You could tell she was pleased to hear it. It really was a fun experience, and the food was exceptional. Plus, for some reason, sushi seemed to be more affordable than most other restaurant foods in Canada. Granted, the US dollar wasn’t doing well against the Canadian dollar and everything seemed to cost a ridiculous amount, but at least in terms of sushi, prices seemed comparable.

After sushi, we got some drinks and retreated to our room where we relaxed to watch some America’s Got Talent and Robot Chicken. Oh, and speaking of our room, we spent our final night in Banff at the Rimrock Hotel, another one of the fanciest hotels in town, just slightly less so than the Fairmont. Located in a remote part of town, the hotel is situated on a hillside, so you can only see the top two floors from the road. I imagine it looks much more impressive from across the river. Our corner room was incredibly spacious with a separate seating area for watching TV, several couches, extremely high ceilings, and an overall air of poshness. The hotel itself was very stately, with every detail emitting class, from the piano in the sitting room, to the dark woodwork, to the views. It wasn’t my favorite hotel because it was a bit more than we really needed (and because they had the nerve to charge for internet when it was already expensive enough), but it was a fun way to treat ourselves for one night.

Wed. July 28th, 2010

We began our day with a nice tour of the Rimrock Hotel, discovering what a challenge it was to find a way outside. We explored every floor and felt rather out of place, wearing our hiking clothes while surrounded by people wearing their finest garb. I somehow managed, in my typical way, to touch something gross and wet (probably from a bird) out on a balcony. So much for being on top of everything, fancy hotel! After our tour, we headed back through Banff for the last time, stopping for gas and Pop-Tarts on the way. We drove north through Banff, stopping at the Crowfoot Glacier and numerous pull offs along the way. We hiked to the Peyto Lake overlook and admired more chalky blue waters before doing a longer hike overlooking some incredible ice fields. We saw numerous waterfalls and the famous Columbia Ice Field (which was much smaller than Nate remembered from 8 years ago…due to the fact that it was summer, or to climate change, we weren’t sure…a little of both, probably) which is located at the triple point of the continental divide. This means that water that flows from this area can travel east, west, or north toward the coasts. We toured the visitor center at Jasper National Park before continuing northward. We did hikes at Athabasca and Sunwapta Falls, each impressive in their own right. Toward the end, I was starting to fade, and my blistery feet weren’t too happy with me. Nate wanted to do a final hike out to Mt. Edith Cavell, but I was miserable. Still, I agreed, not wanting to miss anything, and I’m so glad we did. We came across an incredible glacial lake, glacier still intact, that looked completely unreal. It looked just like the fake glaciers they make at polar bear exhibits, but here was one, pure and natural. We hiked down to the water and got up close to some large chunks of ice. It was a breathtaking experience, and rather sad, too, knowing that in a few years, this may all be gone.

After this last hike, we continued on to the town of Jasper, another bustling metropolis, despite my visions of Alberta’s remote Rockies. Just outside of town, we saw a cow elk up close, so that was exciting. At least we saw SOME large wildlife. Once in Jasper, we made our way over to the Jasper Brewing Company, which was actually the same brew pub that operated the new one in Banff. Fist Pumping Hippie was still on the menu, but we decided to try other things, which slip my mind at the moment. The beers were a bit different, though they had run out of a few of the more interesting selections. After dinner, we got some ice cream. It seemed like there was a monopoly on this, seeing as how every shop only served Nestle Ice Cream, which wasn’t really that great. Oh well. We wandered around town a bit, enjoying our cones, and then hopped in the car to our next destination: Maligne Canyon. It was nearing 9:30, but being so far north, daylight was on our side. We hiked down to bridges one through three, but had to turn back as dusk was setting in. Interestingly, it wasn’t even entirely dark by 11, which made our drive to Hinton, AB a bit more bearable. Exhausted, we pulled into the Days Inn around 11 and promptly locked our keys in the room! Haha! It was a smelly room, on top of it, but we were exhausted, so we tried to ignore it. We had to get some rest for another big day ahead of us.

Thurs. July 29th, 2010

We decided to sleep in a bit and didn’t hit the road until about 10:30, driving east. We made sure to stop and see the world’s largest dragonfly sculpture located in Wabamun, AB, on the way. We finally reached Canada’s famous West Edmonton Mall around 2pm and checked in at the Fantasyland Hotel, a place I’d wanted to stay since I’d first read about it back in the 80’s. Each floor has a different theme, and the rooms go out of their way to match these themes. We made it a point to stop on every floor so we could at least see the hallway theming. Themes included Hollywood, Roman, African, Truck, Western, Arabian, Igloo, Canadian Rail, Sports, and Polynesian (ours, of course). Our room was incredible. The bed was themed like a fancy raft, and the Jacuzzi had a volcano. All the furniture was thatched. It felt so tiki! Our view on the 7th floor looked out on the city of Edmonton, as well as the IMAX pyramid across the roof from us. I was impressed!

After we’d explored the hotel, we decided to check out the mall: another location I’d been itching to see since the 80’s. Larger than the Mall of America, it was a lot nicer, too. In many ways, it felt like a regular mall, only larger. Unlike Mall of America, repeating stores weren’t common. There were various themed sections including Europa Blvd., which is themed like a European village, Chinatown, which has Asian shops, a koi pond, and a huge Asian supermarket, and Bourbon Street, which hosts a large number of sizeable restaurants and entertainment venues. On top of that, infused throughout the mall are a variety of amusement areas including Galaxyland: the indoor amusement park, World Waterpark: the largest indoor waterpark in the world, Sea Life Caverns: an aquarium and sea lion show, a large ice rink, a lemur display, bumper boats, a replica of the Santa Maria, and two miniature golf courses. You could also see the remains of a submarine ride that used to tour the pond and peer into Sea Life Caverns. It really was a spectacle, and we hardly knew where to begin. We walked around the entire mall, stopping to buy a bathing suit because the one I had brought had seen better days. We admired the amusement and water parks, taking lots of pictures now, while we were not riding. We visited the rather small aquarium which featured sharks, a collection of reptiles and amphibians, a touch pool, and penguins, and then saw the sea lion show from afar. We played a round of mini golf at Professor WEM’s Adventure Golf, walked aboard the Santa Maria (which was pretty lame – luckily, it was only 50 cents), and ate at the amazing international food court. Nathan had a gyro and I had some Indian fare. Later, we bought some sushi (once again, amazingly inexpensive compared to most other foods) from the Asian market and feasted upon that back at our room. To top off our evening, we went to the comedy club, which was enjoyable, and feasted on some Quebecois cuisine…namely poutine. In case you’ve never heard of it, it’s a pile of fries smothered in cheese curds and gravy. It sounds atrocious, but it’s actually quite tasty, and the comedy club really did it well. I was happy to get some truly Canadian cuisine while on our trip. The mall had so much to do; you could live in Edmonton and never get bored. We looked forward to the adventures in store for us tomorrow.

Fri. July 30th, 2010

We slept in a bit before packing the car and running over to the World Waterpark for a morning of splish splashy fun. As hotel guests, we got in for free, and we stayed about 3 hours, enjoying the large number of slides, including a few that incorporated lazy rivers. Nate did the speed slides, which I’ve never liked, and he said they were painful, so I didn’t regret not doing them. I also opted out of the toilet bowl slide, which freaks/grosses me out. They also had a sled slide on which I nearly flipped backwards. It was fun, though. We did all the other slides, enjoyed the hot tubs, and hung out in the wave pool throughout our visit. It was fun, but 3 hours was about enough for us.

We had some time to kill before heading over to Galaxyland, so we decided to explore Edmonton for a bit. We headed over to Devonian Botanical Gardens, where we asked about the bright crops around Alberta and found out they were canola, nearly crashed a wedding, got to enjoy the company of cedar waxwings, explored another butterfly house, and were nearly eaten alive by mosquitoes. Then we headed downtown where we checked into our room at the Coast Hotel. The hostess made sure to tell us how much she hated West Edmonton Mall. If only she knew! Haha!

We then headed back to the mall to finish our evening with some roller coasters. We gained three more credits (almost four, but they wouldn’t let me ride the kiddie coaster, looking at me like I was nuts for even asking…this made me come up with the plan to try and ride every operating coaster in the US/Canada – if I had a sponsored goal like that, perhaps these parks would allow me on the kiddie coasters at last. Yes, I am that credit crazy!). Anyway, I really liked Galaxyland – it was huge! Much larger than the park at Mall of America, and it had a better energy to it, too. We rode a good number of rides – almost all the flat rides of any note, the dark ride/shooter, and, of course, the infamous Mindbender.

Mindbender is an incredible masterpiece of a rollercoaster, built by Anton Schwarzkopf, and known for its unyielding intensity. It actually was the source of a fatal accident in 1986, during which some cars disengaged from the track. After riding it, I could almost see why. The g-force and power behind this ride was unparalleled to any other I’ve ridden (and I’ve been on nearly 400 coasters), and I could feel myself graying out throughout the ride. I absolutely loved it and feared it all at once – it was truly incredible and wonderful and terrible (in a good way). The only complaint I really had were the restraints. Schwarzkopf’s coasters are designed to operate without shoulder restraints, despite having inversions. Unfortunately, after the accident, shoulder harnesses were incorporated, but the design was awful. They came down in such a way that your arms were pinned under it, so you couldn’t really reach anything on which to brace yourself. The points aim right for the insides of your elbows, and with the jarring movements and sudden changes of direction, you run a good risk of injuring yourself on the harnesses. On top of that, I bashed my head on them pretty well, too. Yeeowch! It was an undeniably incredible ride, but those restraints made me fear for my welfare, and so I only rode it once. It is definitely something you shouldn’t pass up, though. There’s nothing like flying by those rafters and seeing the world flit by you in a blur. Amazing.

After getting our fill of rides, we had some awful Chinese food for dinner at the food court, grabbed a Galaxyland keychain, and headed back to our hotel for our last night in Canada. We stopped at the hotel restaurant for some dessert and a drink before calling it a night.

Sat. July 31st, 2010

We headed out early for Calgary, driving south and enjoying the glowing fields of canola, while laughing at the extremely cartoony deer crossing signs. We only stopped briefly in Red Deer to have lunch at the Toad & Turtle Pubhouse and Grill. It was pretty “meh,” but at least Nate got some more Canadian beer. We made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare, and headed through security where I got a pat down. I guess I look suspicious – it happens a lot! While waiting at our gate, we decided to get rid of whatever Canadian money we had, so I went to the newspaper shop and asked what I could get for a little over a dollar. I got a candy bar and decided to use the remaining change in any geocaches we wind up doing down the road. What fun.

Or flight was mostly uneventful until we approached Salt Lake City. We wound up circling for a long time, and the pilot wouldn’t tell us why…that is, until he informed us we were running out of fuel and would head to Pocatello, Idaho to fill up. I guess there was a pretty nasty storm going on over SLC, and we just couldn’t land. So we went to Idaho, and sat there for what seemed like an eternity, before heading back to SLC. Once back, we more than missed our flight to Albuquerque, and there weren’t any others going out that night. So we got a voucher for a discounted stay at a hotel and wound up going there. I have friends in SLC, but the timing was so bad that we couldn’t have even seen them – it was just too late at night to bother anyone. What a shame. Still, Nathan and I were still in vacation mode, and another day on the road wasn’t something to which we were averse. We got our room, ordered a pizza, and kicked back, watching some Saturday Night Live.

The next day, we headed out early and had an uneventful flight home. While it would have been nice to have a full day to recover after our adventure, we still managed to relax and catch up on the things we needed to. It was an enjoyable trip, as always, and we are already looking forward to our next one!