Oh So Sore

Well, I did it!! I made it through the most dreaded week of all my time out in Utah!! The infamous pack trip. I was really worried about spending a whole week with my boss, not to mention two other people whom I didn't know a thing about, searching in some of the most inhospitable areas for the coveted pika. Well, I was supposed to head out with Kevin's boss (also Kevin, we'll call him K.B. for short) and some other random dude on Monday at 7am. It turned out Kevin would be late, and they decided it was best if I just drove out with him while they took the horses up to our campsite. I did meet them that morning, though, to hand off our equipment. K.B. seemed pretty friendly, but the other guy, Dean, was tall, somber, and quiet...and he looked at me suspiciously, so that made me a bit nervous, too. I took care of some business in the morning, and when Kevin was ready to go, we hit the road.

On the way, I told Kevin if we had a choice, I'd rather go with K.B., since we know where he works and know he's reputable. Kevin made a big deal about it, in a joking way, claiming I wanted him to be alone with some random serial killer in the woods. Heh. Actually, Kevin was mostly well behaved on this trip and didn't aggravate me TOO much (probably because we paired off with the other two throughout our time in the mountains). We even joked a bit - it was like the Kevin I knew the first two weeks out here. Thank GOD.

So we got to the Henry's Fork trailhead and began our 4.5 mile trek to the campsite. We were in pure wilderness, which means no vehicular traffic of any sort, just horses and hikers. Our hike out was really nice, as we headed past an old flying squirrel plot and into some beautiful mountain taiga areas. Just as we caught glimpse of Kings Peak (the highest peak in Utah), surrounded by other monumental mountains, all striped with snow, our GPS indicated we should bear left, leaving the trail and heading into the woods, so we did just that. Shortly thereafter, we found ourselves at the camp. Two tents awaited us, nestled under the protective cover of large fir trees. A fire was ablaze in the pit, and the site looked as though someone had lived there for a long time, with all the amenities up and ready to use. I had my own tent, being the only girl, and it was already full of all my things. Talk about first class service!

We sat around the fire that night, just talking and getting acquainted with everyone. I wound up talking more to Dean and discovered he was actually a retired highway patrol officer, and he was a lot more personable than he seemed in the morning. He's also quite the horseman, which is why he came along on this venture. I also found out that K.B., whom I WANTED to work with initially, was the one I had to watch out for...turns out he'd been arrested for ARMED ROBBERY in London! No joke! He told us the whole story...he was out there on his mission (yes, I was the only non-mormon on this trip) and his car matched the description of the getaway car - they were pursued by hoards of cops, including by helecopter, and were in custody for a whole day! It sounded like quite the ordeal!

I spent the night huddled in my four person tent, absolutely freezing. We were at quite a high altitude, and for some reason my sleeping bag, which is supposed to be good up to -35 degrees F, doesn't do the job it used to. Needless to say, I didn't have the best night, and my trepidation for the following day didn't help much, either.

Tuesday was our first day on the trail. The four of us did the first pika point together, so Dean could learn the ropes. He wasn't expecting it to be as strenuous as it was. We found ourselves out on the rockslide at 11000 feet, trying not to kill ourselves as the rocks shifted. Luckily, we found pika and no one was hurt. Oh, and on the way up, the scariest thing happened. K.B. brought us up this rediculously steep hillside on horseback, and Dean's horse (who was in front of me) couldn't get up and fell DOWN the hill INTO my horse, knocking MY horse down the hill...luckily my horse, Shebar, was able to catch herself and recover, holding up Dean's horse as it collided with us, and before he could take any worse of a tumble. That was SO scary, and after that I was really put off to riding up and down some of those hills. Oh, and it didn't help that later, while trying to get DOWN this hill, I had to lead Shebar by hand. She was in such a hurry, pulling clutzy me down faster than I could go, that I almost fell right under her as she was speeding downward. That pretty much spooked me out of ever wanting a horse...who'da thought the day would come! (I'll probably change my mind again soon...)

Anyway, we split up after our first pika point, Kevin with K.B., and me with Dean. I was glad to be working with someone older and not so spry. We completed two points that day, and I felt awful about dragging him clear up the shear edge of a mountain, but we found pika at both spots, so it was all worth it. That night, we came back and K.B. cooked us dinner (he cooked all our dinners...first class all the way, I tell ya!) At one point, K.B. asked where his stove grate went, and I mentioned I'd washed it down by the creek and returned it, to which he was surprised and grateful...of course Kevin, always trying to look good in front of his boss, chimed in that HE washed all the soup cans, to which no one reacted much. Hah! Speaking of which, while K.B. and Dean thought of just about EVERYTHING, they completely forgot eating utensils and bowls, so we had to eat all our food out of tin cans and we whittled all our utensils. Talk about living like mountain men! It really was an experience not to forget.

My second night in the tent went a lot better than the first, as K.B. suggested boiling some water and putting it in a Nalgene bottle, and then putting it in my sleeping bag. It actually did the trick and kept my bag warm most of the night. I couldn't have been more grateful.

Wednesday, we headed out even earlier. Whenever I'd hear the guys stirring, I'd pretend to sleep until I knew a fire was going and light started to appear. I was paired with K.B. this day, and we were going to hit three pika points, while the others were just going to do two. I didn't find that at all fair, but what could I say? This was the big boss-man, and I had to make a good impression. Of course, once we headed out, we wound up on the wrong trail - it went in the right direction, but it was NOT suited for horses. After a very tricky uphill climb, including a spot in which we had to jump a downed log while rising up 4 feet on very narrow trail with a cliff to our left, we were able to find our way back to the actual trail. We headed up to the top of Flattop Mountain, a vast, though flat, tundra that spanned across a number of connected mountaintops. I talked with K.B. a bit, but I was nervous, and I'm sure I sounded like a total moron...plus, I think I've dumbed my conversations down for so many people I've talked to in the past so as to not make them feel bad or think I'm elitist that when I talk to anyone, even my bosses, it comes out that way. NOT good. He didn't seem too weirded out by me, though, and we had decent convos about horses and field work and all sorts of things.

Our first pika point was a field of rocks that spilled out over the edge of the mountain. It went pretty well, in my opinion, but K.B. could see I wasn't too steady on my feet out there. I admitted I was a clutz, and he was pretty understanding the rest of the time, so that was good. Our next two talus slopes were pretty small, so we didn't have to spend too much time on them and still found pika. Between point two and three, we noticed that it was snowing on the mountain just across the canyon from us, so we debated on whether or not to even DO the next one, but we rode over there and did it anyway. While I was doing my survey, thunder boomed and we deemed it time to high tail it out of there. I was SOOOO sore from all this riding, but K.B. wanted to trot us out, so I became a veritable ragdoll on my poor horse, Bandit. It didn't help that my stirrups seemed to be too long at this point, and I couldn't even post (stand in the stirrups) to offset the bouncing. Luckily I think K.B. noticed my agony and we just walked at high speed out of there. There wasn't much thunder before we made it down the mountain and back to camp, though we did get pummeled by little pellets of snow the whole way down. Luckily, nothing accumulated.

We'd discussed the option of leaving that night, as we were done with the points and we expected the other two to be back at camp before us, but they were nowhere to be found, to our surprise. We sat around, nursing a fire as we were pelted by the wintry mix. About an hour later, the other two appeared with stories of horses falling down mountains (and giving Kevin a nasty rope burn, since he'd dismounted and was trying to lead it down said mountain) and hidden trails. By this point, it was too late to leave, so we just settled in to camp, admiring a lone bull moose who decided to bed down in the valley behind us, and sharing stories of the day.

I spent the final night freezing in my tent again. K.B. lent me his Nalgene along with mine, but it was so darned cold that even that extra warmth didn't help. The frostiness just penetrated my sleeping bag. It didn't help that this pack trip burnt off any fat I may have had left, so I had no insulation of any sort. I was treated to some weird dreams while I did sleep, and when morning came it was none too soon.

The guys were up before first light, and I made sure to pack all my gear before emerging from my tent. We packed up the horses, which convinced me again that I'm not suited for keeping equines. I could barely lift anything, and I am no good with knots, so forget about figuring out all those crazy straps and buckles. Eventually, K.B. and Dean told us to start hiking down (we only had 4 horses, and 2 of them were for pack at this point), so Kevin and I hiked the 4.5 miles back to the trucks and actually beat the horse guys back by about 10 minutes. By that point, I was so achy and dead that I had Kevin drive and stared blankly out the window the entire drive back. I'm so glad to be "home," and to know that I only have one more week of craziness left to endure! I hope everything is well with all of you and hope to hear from you soon!

Sorrow and Loneliness

Today has been a really hard day for me. A year ago today, I lost my wonderful Dot. I know it sounds silly, but I truly think she and I were soul mates. I don't particularly believe that people can really be soul mates, but there's a special connection you can have with animals, and I believe Dot and I had that. They are loyal, they don't judge, and they are always there for you, unconditionally. She was definitely my cat, and I spent today walking the trails of the Ogden Nature Center in tears thinking about her. I believe in reincarnation, and, while it may sound rediculous, I hold out hope that maybe we'll be reunited one day. I miss her so very much!

And that gets me thinking about death...that's actually all I really ever think about! I think the Aquarian in me pushes people away because I fear loss, and I don't want to get too attached because I know I'll be hurt...because everyone dies. Death is the cause of my insomnia at night, and my persistent daily worries. I have always feared loss, and this is the ultimate loss. Today, almost all my thoughts are on death.

Anyway, I'm also battling extreme loneliness out here. I remember I always used to say I would love to move away to a mountain somewhere and live alone and never be bothered by people again. Well, I'm in essentially that situation now, but it's no where near as wonderful as I'd have thought. I actually crave human interraction. Instead, I'm left alone with my thoughts, which are often self-destructive. I think about how weird I often am, and how I probably come across as a total jerk sometimes, with my weird, often misunderstood comments. Maybe I'm a bad person. I know I'm really not, but I wonder if people might get that impression. Then again, why do I care what people think? Well, I care if they're my friends, and I think a few of them may have misinterpreted something I said. I feel such a gap between me and other people, and being out here isn't helping. I really don't know what would help. I'm struggling with hating who I am, pitying myself for my past, and not being able to reach out to anyone while I'm here. So between my self-destructive inner battlings and my sorrow for my sweet Dot, I'm just a wreck today. Maybe I just need to go back to my cabin and have a good long cry. Tomorrow is a new day...

Two Little Words

I look back at my last post, and contemplate the indignant and roiled state in which it was written. I was mad. I was inconceivably fed up with my situation, and, considering all that rotten boss has put me through, it was most definitely justified. I am not a quitter. I have never quit (nor been fired!) from a job, and I was not about to start now. I did not want to screw over my project by not completing my stay, and I certainly didn't want to burn my bridges with the UDWR, especially since I've worked here in the past and may again in the future. I was so torn on what to do (even though it sounded like my mind was made up in my last post). Then, on Sunday, my phone rang. It was Kevin. I did NOT want to talk to him just then, so I let him go to voice mail. I listened when I got home, and he actually APOLOGIZED. I was floored. His brain actually worked enough to realize that he was way out of line in the way he talked to me (either that or his wife told him so). Regardless, that was really big of him, and my entire attitude changed dramatically...it's amazing what those two little words, "I'm sorry," can do. So I am going to stick it out...only 3 more weeks, I kept telling myself.

So here I am, on the Wednesday of my first remaining week. Kevin was "better" on Monday, though still rather patronizing, on top of his usual flakiness. Ugh. Still, I had a pleasant week ahead of me. I trapped two squirrel plots in really wonderful habitat but STILL didn't catch any. How disheartening! I did catch a chipmunk, though. Anyway, on my way home today I went to set traps in Ogden Canyon - one of the most inaccessible (though close to home) plots we have. Kevin's been there several times, and I have been there once, and it's just rediculous...steep, horrible undergrowth, inhospitable to clumsy humans. I was determined to get my traps set, though...no matter the price.

So I scaled four separate areas of the mountain, being forced down due to rockslides and mud on the first three. I made it up on the fouth one, though it was outside my plot. Once "up" (it was still about a 65 degree slope), I stumbled and crawled and injured myself in every way possible (though luckily not nearly as badly as I could have - I seriously wondered if I'd make it out a vegetable in some instances), but I managed to set three traps...unfortunately, I'm pretty sure they're all outside the actual plot, and they're all a lot closer together than protocol asks, but it was impossible to move around up there, and I'm sure that Kevin will be thankful when he goes to retrieve them. Which brings me to this...it's going to be really tough for him to get them back because I essentially slid back down the way I went up, and now there's no "easy" way up again...not that the way I took was easy - it took over an hour to get about 25 meters in. Oh well...not my problem anymore. I still have two more to set, which will be tomorrow's mission, but I'm going to set them in another part of the plot, hopefully far from that nightmare.

So next week is the dreaded pack trip into the Uintas. Luckily, we're going with two coordinators who have been here a while and have experience. I'm hoping we pair up with one apiece and do our pika work (so I won't have to work with Kevin). Plus, we'll have horses with us, so that should be exciting, if nothing else. Kevin has delusions of doing 11 pika points next week (we only need to do, like, 4 more, by the way), but we'll see how that goes. I'm not going to break my neck for this project, I've decided. I'm tired and I just want to go home!!

So that's life 'til now. This weekend is the State Fair (to enjoy, not to work - although I had a blast working it the other day - I never realized how good I am at interacting with the public). I have a few other ideas of entertainment for the weekend beyond that, but we'll see how it goes. Write soon!!

I've Had It!!

I've had it with this job, and coming to that conclusion makes me feel so free!! I had a very disappointing week - it seemed everything I tried to do was for naught, despite my hard work. I attempted to trap three different squirrel plots, each of which wound up falling on private property or being inaccessible at the time. I also attempted to do a pika point which was incaccessible due to a flooded out road. Despite these problems, I worked hard, trying to get around the obstacles in any way I could, but each turned out to be unproductive. My boss, who hasn't lifted a finger to help his project in weeks, was obviously not happy to hear this, but gave me such a patronizing attitude, complete with his idiotic silences and snotty tone, so as to make it seem like I'm some sort of failure. I was really mad at first, but then I realized this is a perfect springboard to get me out of this horrible job. I'm sick of his attitude and his ineptitude, and I know that when I'm gone, he's going to see just how hard it is for a person to do all this solo. After I work the State Fair on Saturday, I'm going to tell him I'm done. I'm not sure what I'll say, exactly, but I've really had it, and knowing that I won't be working the next three weeks has lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders.

I'll probably stick around another two weeks, though, as I'm going to the State Fair with Trish and her family next weekend, and then Nate may come up to do Yellowstone and help me move back. Maybe this will give me the opportunity to focus on my writing and other ways of bettering myself in the meantime.

Hmmm...two more weeks...I'm already going a little batty due to lack of social interaction. I live alone in a wetland surrounded by a rural farming community. My only coworker is my insipid and infuriating boss. I'm really going nutty being alone with just my thoughts. I need an outlet...hopefully I can make it through this two week void! We'll see what happens. I guess the best writers do tend to hole themselves away...maybe something brilliant will spring forth from these fingertips...

Well, I better go...I may try to apply for a job or two! Later!!

Whittling Down The Days

Well, only a little under 4 more weeks to go out here. I've been really anxious to go home, and Nate's visit this weekend made me even more ready to leave. Next week we go on a horse packing trip to the Uintas, and while that is part of what drew me to this job to begin with, I actually have a really bad feeling about it. It snowed in the mountains last week, and there is a threat of more snow, especially out there. We'll be in some of the deepest wilderness in the continental US, and it just seems like a bad idea. If I can get through next week, though, I can make it through the remaining two weeks...and if I max out my budget with comp time, I may even get out early!! I really hope that's the case.

My boss has still been a total git. Every time we talk, he always has some idiotic thing to say that sets me off. I wonder how things are going to go for him when I'm gone. I know his supervisors will see what a mistake they made in hiring him before too long.

In other news, Nate came in this weekend, and we had a wonderful time! I really do miss him a lot. I don't know what I was thinking, moving hundreds of miles away like that. He flew out on Friday night, and we went to Squatters Brew Pub that evening and took it easy back at my cabin. On Saturday, we drove up to Idaho and did the Potato Museuem in Blackfoot, ate lunch at Browning Brew Pub in Idaho Falls (after admiring the unusual, lengthwise falls in town), followed by a visit to the first nuclear power plant, and then an excursion to Craters of the Moon National Monument where we did almost all the hikes. It was great, though it didn't remind me of the moon...no actual craters, just a lot of basalt rock. We ate dinner at a sub-par Thai place in Twin Falls and got home around 1am.

Sunday we went to Red Butte Gardens, a botanic garden in Salt Lake, did lunch at Wasatch Brewery in Park City, and then drove up to the Utah Olympic Park where we watched warm weather stunt skiiers, explored the museum, and rode the 2 zip lines (one was the steepest in the world) and the alpine slide. I decided to wait until there's snow to do the bobsleds, even though it's more expensive then. One day! It started to drizzle just as we were finishing up, and during our drive home, the sky just opened up and it poured until the next day! It was amazing, as it hasn't rained in ages up here. Our power was out at the cabin, but it eventually came on much later. It was quite an exciting day.

Monday, I took Nate to the Union Station museums in Ogden (I waited outside as he explored), we checked out I-Fly indoor skydiving, but it was packed so we decided to wait (even though it was fun to watch - I can't wait to try it!). Then we went down to Kennecott Copper Mine (I'd also been here before, 3 years ago) and did the visitor center. It was a blast. We tried to do dinner at Archibald's, this fancy looking restaurant, but when it was closed, we tried the Bavarian Brewery instead, where I had a dreamy schnitzel. Then, since there was another brew pub down the road, I convinced Nate to get another sampler there, and then we called it a night. It was a great trip, and now I only have 6-9 more things I need to see before I leave, 3 of which will have to wait until the trip home, and another 3 of which I may hold off on until our next excursion to the area. Phew!

So that's life 'til now. I have to head out to Mantua to do a squirrel point in a few minutes, so I'm off!!